Help At Home aide needs to clean more, but my dad won't let her. What can I do?
Help At Home girl needs to clean more but my father won't let her. I made the call to her boss to discuss this and the worker convinced my dad to let her clean some, but there needs to be more intense cleaning not just surface cleaning. This girl that helps him has been a long time friend of his and he just wants to go run around town in her car and blow his Social Security check. Supposedly this girl, her boss and I got on the same page about what needs to be done for my father. My father is our neighbor and when he's gone with her I sneak into his little cabin to investigate and I am not pleased with what I'm seeing. He has been living back at home since early June after leaving AL... YES, he should have stayed there but it was out of my control since he's still "competent". I have silently refused to step in and help with cleaning, grocery shopping etc. since this girl is hired to help him, she can do it. I do dispense his meds which he is choosing to skip all of the time. I only interact with my dad when my husband is with me. After years of dysfunction with him and then later in life trying to build a relationship with someone who is somewhat narcissistic perhaps and a great manipulator, he uses his own emotions to try to throw me in a guilt trip which used to lead me into a path of sympathy and compassion. These last two months I've realized I have been his enabler as far as getting him anything and everything that he wants for the past year. I've come a great way of letting go of wanting to try to change him to "my" idea of how he should take care of himself and how he has chosen to live.
Now with him back home on our family property, living in a little cabin my husband built for him after we had to destroy his bedbug infested dilapidated trailer, I have stepped back and let his life continue the way it was before he had the stroke last July. At that time he was partially surviving with the bedbugs for six months at least along with mouse turds and P on everything. We paid for extermination but it was not a success because the trailer was in such bad condition it just escalated to a terrible demise, the stroke got him out of there into the hospital and destruction began. I got POA... into assisted living he went... got kinda better... holding of the cabin was in slow motion to try to keep him in assisted-living... 9 months later cabin got finished and home again home again jiggedy-jiggedy he went. Sooo, after all that, my question is here, how do I get this girl to clean his damn cabin to the perfection that I believe it should be in or do I let it turn into another stench???? The cabin is considered his even though we paid for everything entirely ourselves out of guilt of destroying his trailer and most of the contents. Do I just sit back and watch this all happen again just like I did with the bedbugs were around? I mean years before that I kept my distance from him and let him do his own thing because that's what he wanted and it turned into a big bad mess. Sometimes I can think clearly what I need to do about this and I just don't know I'm so messed up. I can't talk to my dad about this and his uncleanliness. It's getting so unsanitary in the cabin someone please tell me what to do.