I don't even want to spend time with her and I don't want her around my children. I do so out of a sense of obligation. She married a super nice man 8 years ago and she is emotionally abusive to him. Treats him horribly. She doesn't seem to care who sees it and his children hate her. Her husband fell and broke his hip last night and all she can talk about is herself. She called me and spent the whole time talking about what she would be missing and no one was taking care of her. She isnt even at the hospital, his two daughters are. I try to have some kind of relationship with his children but it seems to make her jealous.
My brother has washed his hands of her. When I mentioned something pertaining to him she said "oh I forgot, you guys are besties now". Am I not supposed to be friends with my brother?
I think her husband will be going to live closer to his kids when his recovery is over. I think they have seen enough. And then, it is all back on me. I feel like I need to include her in everything.
Sorry for the rant. I just don't understand how anyone can be so mean and selfish.
You are not obligated to be her scratching post. When she says hateful things tell her that you will not listen to her garbage and you will call later.
I would not subject myself to being emotionally destroyed by this person called mom. She can be nice or be alone. If you explain to her that you will not be replacing her husband and she needs to decide what she is going to do when his kids remove him from an abusive marriage, maybe, just maybe she will repent and try to make things right.
If not, please don't sacrifice yourself so she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want.