I think Dad may have some Dementia too. I think what needs to be done is Mom placed. The stress maybe effecting Dad. People in his house even though its his own daughters. Place Mom, she will not be aware of anything at this stage. You can visit her everyday if you want. Then you can leave Dad to his own devices. If Medicaid is needed, their assets can be split with Moms split going towards her care and then applying for Medicaid when its almost gone. Dad becomes the Community Spouse and will be given enough or all of their monthly income of SS and any pensions.
Doesn't sound like you're going to change him, according to your profile. I would distance myself as much as possible. Do what you are willing to for them but spend less physical time with them. Have them hire someone to help. Have food, meds, meals etc delivered to them. They don't have to like the changes but you need to protect yourself too.
Maybe mom could benefit from being placed somewhere? Is he mean and rude to her too?
Maybe mom could benefit from being placed somewhere? Is he mean and rude to her too?
So sorry this is part of your life.