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I found that shaving cream is excellent for removing dried stool and even just cleaning the buttocks and creases between legs to remove stool & residual uric acid. In fact I used it at each change now for my 99 yo father. It picks up residue that even disposable wash clothes alone fail to "grab" & are a great help in reducing risk of pressure sores by cleansing skin better.
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People are living longer and therefore, their children are caring for them. It seems so unfair to either party. My mother refused to stay at home and become dependent on her children. She went to an in hospital hospice. I am so grateful to her. How embarrassing it must be for our elderly parents to have us wipe their behinds. I pray God takes me before the time when I am the child. Taking care of my husband was easy. He refused to become dependent. Have no idea how he did it, but he died naturally before he lost it. My partner,,,same thing. Mind over matter maybe. I feel so sorry for both the parents and the caregiver.
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No, they have a right to refuse a bath. Try starting small, just offer a "pedicure" foot bath. Some elders chill easily, so do one small area at a time. for shampoo, use a no-rinse shampoo cap, warmed up, and let them massage it in themselves. It is always well received.
To keep bottoms clean, make sure baby wipes are handy; these are also good for a quick swipe of skin folds under the arm, belly or breast area.
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The AL nurse told us they could not force our mother to take a shower because it was a violation of her rights. They had to convince and coax her to be willing to do it. It was truly frustrating because Mom went from 2 minute showers to none while in IL. At first she took sink baths, but the last couple of years she didn't even wash.
She was in AL for 9 months and they convinced her to take a shower twice, once because she smelled. One of the down sides of not bathing is she got a couple of UTIs because she was often incontinent and didn't have good hygiene.
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Thank you, MyThreeSons, for the shaving cream advice. I'm not caring for Dad now, but it's possible he could end up here again. (I hope he can stay in Memory Care until the end, but we never know. If he outlives his few capabilities, they will send him along, and I don't want him in a nursing home.) Anyway, he has refused a shower a few times, but I always use the doctor to get him to cooperate. He can easily be convinced that any of the aides is a nurse, and so I've told them to tell him that the doctor says the nurse has to give him a shower. It's worked so far.
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In our country if the senior is in a nursing home, they must be bathed at least twice a week. I kept my dad at home and I would help him at least twice a week if not more. If the senior is refusing help, I would try and find out why. Are they scared? Do they need more privacy? Is there further mental decline? Dementia? I feel like a shower can make a person feel brighter and more alive. I know we can never force anyone to have a bath, but I would find out why. Or at the minimum make sure they have a caregiver wipe them down with a wet cloth.
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