Is it against the law for me to leave my bedridden mother alone for a short time?

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I am starting a new job soon and need to leave home at 7 am. The caregiver would arrive at 7:30 am. Is this against the law? Also I need to go to the grocery store sometimes after I get home and it is only a mile away. I feel like a prisoner in my home if I can't even go pick up a loaf of bread and milk at night.

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Let's be realistic here. I doubt a blazing fire will break out or the roof will cave in if your mother is let alone for a half hour. I've also never known of a case where anyone was prosecuted for leaving there parent alone and some tragedy happened. We can worry about all the "what ifs," but that does nothing but drive you crazy when it doesn't have to.

I'm also amazed some telling you to put your mom in an assisted care. Let me ask you, would your mom rather see your face, in her own surroundings, being at home with you where there's love? Or would she rather be in a facility with strange faces and unfamiliar surrounding with not knowing what kind of care she's receiving?

If you feel you can leave your mother alone for a short period of time, only you can make that decision and don't accept guilt trips from some of the posters here. Live your life in a reasonable way in the real world, you would have your mom's blessing.

Take care.
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Reply to Marcus7
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Caregivers need not to feel like a prisoner in their own home, taking full care of there bed ridden family member. Fact is, we do it all, yes its great IF your able to a ford extra help, most of us can not, so we do the best we can. No its not agent the law- Hospice requirements that yes 24/7 care, But in Reality they know we need to leave to get food, medicine, our own needs so we can keep our head together. Its very scary and no one wants to risk anything or wonder what If, the "What Ifs" will always hold Any one back, us care givers ARE NOT selfish or going out hour on end! Especially If your the only caregiver of course you can do that, who esle all,no one. We do what we can and what is right. Good luck. Always do research on all that you question and always be the best advocate for your mom. Always question everything and look it up. This was 6 years ago you posted this, I truly hope your ok and all, I'm trying to learn all I can, for my grandmother is at home with me (always will be) on hospice care and its very sad how they treat the elderly. I hope everything worked out for you and your well.
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Reply to Sunshinealways
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My aunt is 92 years old and requires 24 hour care. We are paying the caregivers (through a reputable agency) in the home yet we are finding that they are leaving her home alone for 15 minutes while they run to the store or pick up medication for her. I have complained and it continues to happen.
I have told the caregivers to call us yet they don't. I have also instructed the caregivers not to leave her alone and yet they do.
My suggestion to the person above is to find Elder daycare or hire someone. Universities that have nursing schools possibly could help. It is too risky to leave them by themselves.
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Reply to Lisa3kids2go
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My niece came to take care of her elderly, failing Gramma. She went down the street to pick up a pizza. Her gramma fell in the bathroom and died within that short period of time. She was not arrested! If we are providing the best care possible ther is no intent of malpractice. My mom is presently 92 and restricted to being cared for at her home and in her bed. We cannot get the help we need through Medicare and she hasn't qualified for Medicade. We try not to leave her alone. Have hired an aide at our own expense. Family members are not always reliable. We are doing the best that we can.
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Reply to Gwilde
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@mom2mom; For years I paid for Lifefone(as I do for my 90 year old Aunt), but cancelled it when Dr said Mom needed 24/7 care. I called Hospice to inquire re:part time/respite care for our CG's, & they said they do provide a volunteer sitter(I'm still learning more about Hospice & the services they provide since Mom was placed on it 2 .5 mths ago). I will use it, BUT if I hear anymore b^&hing, I will definitely heed BarbBrooklyn advice.
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Reply to CaringRN
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My mother is not bedridden but is a fall risk. She gets around her apartment (connected to my house) with a walker. I leave for work about 45 minutes before the caregiver arrives. My kids are home but don't check on her in the mornings. They leave about 10-15 minutes before caregiver arrives. I get home about 45 minutes after the caregiver leaves. The kids are usually home well before that but don't always check on her.

I am perfectly comfortable with leaving Mom for those few minutes and will even leave her for a half an hour to run errands.

Of course, the other day when she WASN'T home alone, she thought she was and panicked and called 911... but that's another story.

Anyway, to answer your question, I would have no problem with your schedule and the little bit of time she was alone.. I would add the call button though.
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Reply to mom2mom
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CaringRN, i think it may be time for mom to be in a facility just up the road from where brother and sister in law live. You've done your best. Now it's their turn.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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@vstefans; I don't think mom is being inappropriately left alone. Part of the problem is my mom is a chronic complainer & manipulator. We (her family) KNOW this & her age has made her worse. I have been there many times when she'll complain that the CG has not been in to see her. I am there & the CG is in the kitchen cooking & I tell her so. My uninvolved brother knows how our Mother is, but since he seldom sees her he doesn't see her decline. I explain to him, but he doesn't listen & has NO CLUE how much is involved in caring for mom & age related physical decline. He & wife are very vindictive. 2 months ago, SIL came to Mom's house alone(she has never visited mom alone)& was asking my mom lots of questions which made my mom very nervous & upset & made the CG angry that she upset mom. I told CG to document everything. This whole situation is shameful(on my brother & his wife)& I told him so. Our parents didn't raise us this way.
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Reply to CaringRN
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CaringRN, you may want to start a new thread with this. It may be fine for the caregiver to do this if and only if mom could call for help independently. And, Mom could be incorrect. But if she is inappropriately left alone then you do need to file a complaint with any agency involved and/or fire the caregiver.

If skilled facility placement is the only viable option, then don't be devastated - make it convenient to you for lots of visiting and involvement in her care, and if it is needed, it's sad but it's needed.
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Reply to vstefans
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This is the most disturbing post I have read & learned something new.This year, we had a wonderful set up( so I thought) for mom & we( my husband,Mom & I) were happy to continue fulfilling her wishes to be cared for & remain in her home. She had 2 loving, attentive 24 hour caregivers. Recently, I received a call from my uninvolved brother, confronting me & stating that mom told him that one of the caregivers occasionally leaves her alone( she is bedridden) sometimes while CG goes to the store/pharmacy(or when my mom requests for a special item). I am aware that CG must go to the store to buy my mom's food/pharmacy,ect & returns quickly, calling in to check on her. When I visit every week, I ask CG if she needs to run errands or respite while I stay with Mom. I know that occasionally, if CG has a Dr.'s appointment, she has her Mother(my husband's Aunt)stay with mom if CG will be gone longer. After taking VERY good care of my mother for 16 years, I will notify my other sibs that I will not place MY livelihood in jeopardy. My heart is broken, but I have no choice but to place her in a convalescent home where there is staff 24/7. No good deed goes unpunished. I am devastated
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