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I am desperate. My mother is living with me in a small efficiency apartment. She is verbally abusive. After much time and expense I have been appointed by the court as her guardian. I have the power to force her into a nice assisted living facility I have found. However, I don't have any idea how to make her go. I don't think she would go without physical restraint. Who would provide that service?

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also my dad had very short attention span. he was easy to re-direct. sometimes if he got angry or rattled about something it would stick for awhile. he would be grumpy. but he also had trouble getting around. plus he slept a lot during the day. but otherwise he may have been the type to escape. my dads alz was advanced.

my moms memory was short but still not too bad(yet). she understood a little better why they were stuck(in jail).
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do you know if the AL facility needs to interview your mother prior to them accepting her?

I met with my M&D's future AL, and they actually came out to my parents home to meet my dad. My dad had alzheimers, but was still pleasant especially to some friendly visitor folks! (my mom broke her hip and was still in skilled nursing)

after my mom was released from SN we drove her over to her new "apartment" which I had stressfully "set-up" to look like their old place.

then we told my dad he was going to hospital to see his wife (my mom)

so we tricked him

and my mom didn't have any strength to fight about it at the time....

for a year + ....it was always a struggle to listen to: cant we go home?

but Ive seen hard to manage residents. and seems eventually they don't stay too long?
I don't know where they go, maybe to memory care? because they would always be basically harassing the staff. I mean it was sad. because they were so confused.(ive seen people sneaking out too)

so even if you could trick her, how would they manage to keep her under control?
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Gee. I find plenty of answers that explain you have to have guardianship to determine where a loved one lives, and that once you have it you can force them against their will. But I can't find ANY information about how you go about physically making it happen. As you find out, please share with us!
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Have you had a needs assessment done for her? The fact that she is legally incompetent makes me wonder if she might need a higher level of care than an ALF. Have you gotten as far as discussing her needs with the ALF you found?

Will your mom be able to afford the ALF indefinitely? If she might at some point need Medicaid, does the facility you found accept Medicaid payments?

I'm sorry, this isn't answering your primary question, is it? I think that your Area Agency on Aging would be able to tell you how to actually move your mother against her will. Or, are you still in touch with legal advisers involved in the guardianship? They should be able to describe what needs to happen.

Perhaps someone with first-hand experience will be along and share what they learned.

And good for you for getting guardianship, if that is what you determined would be best!
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Frantic must be the word, you poor thing.

Congratulations on your persistence and practicality in getting the guardianship straight. Well done.

So. How far have you got with the ALF you like? Do they have a place? Have they carried out a needs assessment? And above all, if your mother is verbally abusive - is this normal for her and confined to her treatment of you, or is it nothing personal and she behaves like that with everyone?

The thing is, if it's the latter, you may find that an ALF is not the right setting. What professionals have you consulted about next steps?
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