Two years ago we made a big move and are now living in the small town where my mom grew up. She is from a very large family and we have always been very close with her family. My mom and I have been inseparable since I as born.
Since the move my mom has lost it. I bought her a house (she picked out) to lessen the financial burden on her. She decided the house “made her feel dirty,” moved out, and refused to tell me where she was moving (which happened to be only 3 blocks away). I told her I didn’t care if she wasn’t happy there it was fine I’ll just sell the house.
Since she moved out she has continually bashed me to her family saying I bought the house to control her, that I wouldn’t allow her to paint, put up blinds, and that I would be mad if she put in a garden, even though I was encouraging it and willing to help with the expenses. Her furnace went out on Christmas Eve and I immediately brought over space heaters. She had 4 heaters running. I offered for her to stay with us and she said she was comfortable. Because we are in a remote area, it was Christmas Eve, and had a snowstorm I wasn’t able to get the furnace repaired until the 27th. She has been telling everyone in the family I left her without heat for 3 weeks.
She refused to tell me where she was moving but complained to my friends and family that she didn’t get a birthday card in the mail.
So basically for the past year and a half she has told so many lies based on how she “feels” and not factual information. She has turned my entire family against me and makes me look like a monster. I have expressed my concerns to her siblings suggesting maybe she’s having age-related mental issues and they refuse to engage. They say it’s between us.
I have two teenage daughters and my mom says I have turned them against her. I have remained completely neutral in regards to their relationship with her, she simply abandoned them. I have tried to get her to go to a counselor, therapist, I even asked the priest at her church to help, and she refuses to go. I’ve begged her to meet with anyone, family, friends, just someone to mediate so we can resolve this issue. She will only associate with people that listen to her and agree with her even if she’s wrong.
How can this happen after a lifetime of a fantastic mother-daughter-granddaughter relationship? We were all so close now she hates us all but says we are the problem and she has convinced everyone that she’s the victim. She’s ruining my reputation and life.
The bottom line is I’m searching for answers. Maybe someone out there has had a similar experience. It’s so sad and we are all hurting. Thank you for taking the time to read this!