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I'm 25, and my dad just passed away last spring from gastric cancer. My mom who is only 60 has schizophrenia. She's never really needed a caregiver just someone to make sure she takes her meds morning/night, meal prep, doctor transportation and housekeeping.


With my Dad, gone we've hired her a live-in caregiver, but its been incredibly expensive. Her father left her a trust so that if my Dad passed away she would still have some sort of income. If she continues to live at home its expected to last only 10-12 years.


I've looked at board care facilities but she wants to be in place where she has her two cats, and I can stay over for the holidays. I thought about putting her an luxury assisted living home, hiring her a companion and having her go to a daycare in order to socialize with people closer to her age and health. She would be able to have her cats.


I'm both her healthcare and financial poa. I'm her only child and she's my best friend. I'm up in arms about what to do. Her going to an assisted living home would extend her money for way more years and lessen my responsibilities of having to help take care of her. Its been difficult finding a balance between taking care of myself and making sure she's okay. I'm still trying to establish a career at this age and want to make sure I'll have my own financial security. I live in a different city 2 hours away from her.


I worry so much about the quality of her life and her being left in a depressing environment. Granted she'd be able to afford a luxury retirement/assisted home, but the majority of the people there may be a lot older than her and not in the best health.


I've gone through so many intense changes this year with my Dad being gone, and her going to assisted living home would also mean selling my childhood home that we've had for over 17 years. Its been a lot to take in. I just need help and some perspective about what to do. Any advice?

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If you move Mom into a facility, are you thinking of doing it in your city, so you can interact with her more easily?

I don't know much about schizophrenia. It is likely to stay stable, at the level it is at now, or does it typically progress? Might she need more care later?

It sounds like you have things covered for now, so you can take the time for a thorough search of what is available, in her city and in yours. Perhaps make an appointment to discuss her needs with the doctor who treats her schizophrenia.

How wonderful her dad made financial provisions for her, and how wonderful she has you to act in her best interests. This is a very stressful period right now, but you will work out a satisfactory solution and then things can settle in to a new normal.
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It is true that AL will have other residents and activities, but depending on the AL she might be in a place with many at a lower cognitive level.

We worked with a social worker who specializes in finding good matches for care facilities. She really knew the pros and cons of the different places, which ones had more active seniors, etc. You might consider finding someone like that who knows what the possibilities are and can guide you. A social worker might also have options you haven't considered. We worked with one who works for a local company here who does it. They are paid by the facilities so there was no out of pocket expense.
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I think you have an AL confused with a Nursing Home. AL have other residents she can interact with. There is usually a common area where people congregate, movies are shown and activities are done. Residents usually eat in a dining area for socialization. A companion and daycare seems a little extreme when ALs usually have activities and outings.
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