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My dad raised my brother and I alone. He married a gal 14 Yes ago. She has no relationship with her son because she is extremely jealous of women therefore hates her daughter in law(who's actually awesome)!My dad was diagnosed with MSA and Lewy's body dementia last Summer (late summer). Typical for his wife you don't ever know if she will attack you with some made up story such as their house was broken into and she thinks it was my brother. That he didn't steal anything other than costume jewelry but her 10k ring was on dresser as well as thousands of $ of other sitting there. Or that my husband cornered her at the office and demanded she change the will. Both stories are so downright blatantly lies it's disgusting. My brother and I have been the targets of her attacks since he married her unfortunately. My dad, my brother and I have a very special and unlike most relationships. My mother left when I was a newborn and its always been dad,my brother and I. We are a team. Dad lived 8 houses from me and he owned his own business we all worked for him.Been that way all my life. She decided to tell dad im not allowed to be at their house when she got home, wasn't happening. My father told her to pound sand and that if she thought she was going to alienate him from his children like that she can pack up. So she did!!! Dad said later. She came back a week later and convinced him to sell the house and get this condo in foreclosure so they could pay cash. She took him away from his 5 grandchildren who rode bikes or walked to their grandpas every single day. Their only grandparent!!!! Not to mention she took my dad away from me. Dad has been hospitalized since August several times. The pattern is when he is hospitalized she suddenly develops the flu and diarrhea and cannot come to hospital to see him. He had a stroke and she texts me telling me she is worried about dad because he won't open his eyes, seems out of it,is leaning etc. Asks if I think she should call ambulance. Wasn't until I showed up she did!He had two strokes within a week or so time frame.He wasn't in ER room 10 mins and she asked my husband to take her home she was sick. She didn't come see my dad for a week!!!!
Here my dilemma. She makes up stories, flat out makes them up. She's even preyed on my dad. One night as I never left his side at the hospital stayed almost 24 hrs a day(all the nurses knew and were aware she wasn't there as well). One night she called his cell phone and he pretty much holds it in his hand the entire time. He answered it and she didn't know my brother and I were there. She started telling him,"Your kids are trying to kill you and take your money. Listen to me Xxx(his name) your kids are planning your funeral and have U dead all the while your trying to live." My poor father at first said what, she kept saying listen to me, just listen don't talk listen. She did this for 7 or so minutes.Repeated it over and over and over. When he hung up he was scared,confused and agitated. Thankfully with his dementia he told us but we could hear it as she told him anyway because the phone volume was way up. She will never face U alone. She had him placed under no visitors and security because we asked her why would she tell my dad something that awful when it never everrrrrrr happened
Dad was in rehab facility for a month. She came 3x In month to see him. I have texts from her thanking me for being there every day staying with him etc. Dad called me if he was scared. I got 3,4 calls middle of night due to him not aware of where he was. Nurses said he always asked for his daughter.
When the vascular neuro came in last hospital visit and told me after his two strokes at xmas that he was declining at a much more rapid pace than he anticipated I said oh. He showed me MRI where his brain has shrunk and died off. My fathers wife knew doc was coming to talk and asked me to make sure I took notes, what questions to ask etc. She should of been there but typical of her she never is. So I audio recorded it with my phone (hindsight that has been my saving grace)!I wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything, it was awful that I had to tell her what doc said as we all were shocked. Next day was when dad started to awaken after his body was recovering from strokes. He didn't remember much from previous days.His wife now states to everyone doc never said he had any strokes, that he was fine,I made up what doc said and so on. My brother confronted her and said look im sick of U trying to say my sister lied when I have listened to the doctor tell my sister exactly what she said he did. It's audio recorded so U can lie whatever but truth is right there. You can be in denial but don't say she lied when in fact she Since then she hasn't heen letting my brother and I see dad but once a month.He's at home now. Dad would call me every day,I spent every day from September on with him caring for him(I'll continue in comments)

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I will hazard a guess and say she is in the grips of dementia herself. Yes call APS and get them BOTH to a safe place.
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Babalou is right, if you have evidence, though there is no guarantee they will handle the situation well, but you need to try. It really can't be made much worse than it is. The only other thing you could add would be evidence that stepmom has mismanaged funds in some way, though as his wife she is probably entitled to do what she wants.
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Yes, I did talk to the neuro vascular doc when she wasn't showing up at hospital everytime doc was coming in to discuss his health. He said "oh really, I see." He has a very thick middle eastern accent. She's got him fooled as well. This woman is nuts, will sit and look on Internet and then find stories others have posted and use it hem claiming it's what my brother or I did. She narcisstic and scary
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I fail to see how calling APS could make this any worse than it is. Have you told dad's docs what is happening?
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I'm thinking that you may never see him again anyway. It's already been 9 days. You really know a lot of background info, not sure how you know all this, but it could all potentially be used against her. If APS is slow to investigate, then you would at least have that time until they do to try to get to see him. Your step-mother does sound mentally ill, but she also sounds scared. When her husband dies, her life will change considerably. In the meantime, she's having to deal with insurance, doctors, medicines and illnesses that maybe she didn't count on having to deal with. I'm sure it's no picnic having a severely ill husband.

This is the woman your father chose to live with. He obviously didn't have to get married, but he chose to. We don't always agree with the choices our parents make, but everything is not in our control. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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I cared for my dad in every which way. Bathing, dressing, belong feed, did his laundry, stayed with him 10 hrs or more daily and even stayed the night many times. She was always so appreciative of it. Once the above happened with my brother and my husband was there she knew she was caught and then became authoritative. She had dad put on security, convinced the doctor we were upsetting him (after she isn't been there whatsoever st hospital)and that he needed to be placed on no visitors. Dad had NO IDEA THIS WAS OCCURRING! Doc recommends he go back to rehab facility and she says no I will get all caretakers for him at home. Read, she hired one person to come he her little bitch. Clean her bathrooms, walk her dog, clean dog poop, do laundry. Nothing regarding cate taking of my pop! She won't let us see him but of we are lucky once a month. Dad called me or I called him and we spoke daily. Now I call and leave two messages daily and I haven't heard from ky dad in 9 days. I know why don't I just show up? Last time I did that it got my dad all upset because she made up again another story that I was going to have him sent away. I can't stand to see this happening to my father. Before he had his two strokes he and I had many conversations. He told me he knew this dementia and MSA was going to take his life and it sucked. He talked about what he wanted and how important it was to have his two children and grandchildren with him. That wives come and go but it's always been a team, dad, my brother and I and it will always be that way. I know she so jealous of the relationship he has with his kids and unfortunately her only son wants nothing to do wth her because this is the shit she did to his wife (her daughter in law). When my brother was able to see dad two weeks ago he said dad was all bruised and cuts on his arms and he asked dad what happened. Dad said from all his falling. She won't allow us to be alone with dad and I know why. She is afraid of him telling the truth of anything. The moment dad said he had the bruises etc from falling she told him no no no U make to be having another one of your hallucinating episodes. Dad has a lot of hallucination but most are evening (sundowners). When he has them they are very real to him. She will argue with him that they aren't and I can't figure out why. If u let him say whatever he felt he saw once he's finished that ls it. But no she argues and argues it telling him he's wrong. Dad has gone from 240 to 160 weight. He's diaBetic and it's not controlled because she refuses to cook. If it's not drthat r they or premade U aren't getting it. She will go buy stuff he can't eat: docs say his levels (not sugar) are not good. He was hospitalized because she woke up and ue was unresponsive due to diabetic coma and she didn't check his sugars..: I could go on and on and I have, but I want to doen what lay it out. I know I should call APS but here's my fear. Once I do I may never see my dad again. She is so good at manipulating and lying and making up stories that I have zero faith in our family services or aging services. I've been told it's very hard almost impossible to have anything done. I just want to be able to talk to my dad, to see him and him not be kept from us and be tod these made up stories that aren't true. This is the worst nightmare I have ever endured. I know he doesn't have a lot of time (doc said 6 mos or so) so I want to spend whatever I dan with him. His grandchildren miss him as well. Thoughts, please
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