I am the primary caregiver for my 85 year old mom who has dementia. We are working to transition her into a nursing home full time. My bro had a meeting with the director yesterday regarding some other issues and he said the director suggested that we as a family are too high maintenance. I wasn't there for the conversation so I can't say what is perception, exaggerated, truth, etc. But it got me to thinking that I could be perceived as "high maintenance." I am used to making medical decisions for my mom as well as decisions regarding her care. I am not sure if I'm having trouble letting go of that control. I truly do feel I am trying to choose my battles but I wonder if I'm not objective about this. I ask for things in a nice way and no one ever suggests by tone of voice, facial expression, etc. that I'm a pain. If I see my mom getting confused in a way that she's been confused before when she's had a UTI I ask the doc if we can check her for it. When mom is constipated I ask doc if she can have something for it. If a piece of clothing has gone missing I see if we can locate it (usually a laundry mixup). I know people don't want others telling them how to do their job, but I also don't want to feel like I can't ever advocate for my mom, since she really can't advocate for herself. Any advice about how to build a positive relationship w/o giving up my mom's rights is appreciated.