I don't know if I'm in the right place or not but I'm trying to get some advise as I'm not really sure what to do these days. So if I should be posting on a different website I apologize. This was just the only website I could find that I thought might help in some way.
My dad was an only child and passed away 7 years ago. My grandfather passed away 5 years ago. Now I'm 25 and have had my grandmother move into my house with me so that I can care for her as she is 87 and has difficulties doing a lot of things on her own and I no longer felt it was safe for her to live on her own. She's always been in pretty healthy. She hasn't even been to a doctor in over 20 years. Recently the past few weeks she's stopped eating. Occasionally I can get her to eat some yogurt or a shake but typically anytime I bring her food she won't eat. She hasn't been out of bed in the past few weeks either except to use the restroom. I had been doing some research and found that sometimes elderly people have problems chewing when it gets close to their time so I've been trying to get her to eat things she doesn't have to chew very much like soup mashed potatoes yogurt etc. But usually when I leave the room she ends up giving it to the dog. She also is not drinking very much fluids either. Typically she only has about 8oz of water a day and maybe a small glass of juice. I have bought her some Ensure to keep next to her bed for her to have if she got hungry while I was at work. She had told me she'd been drinking it but last night I found it hidden in her room and she had not been drinking it. She refuses to go to a doctor and at this point I don't really want to make her go. Only because if she found out she had cancer or something along those lines I know she wouldn't get treatment so I don't think it would be worth finding out. I also don't want to put her in any type of nursing home because I promise her I would not do that when I moved her in with me and sold her house. I'm the only family she has left since my parents were divorced a very long time ago. So I don't exactly have any help. I can't afford to pay someone to come over while I'm at work but I worry about her falling as she refuses to use a walker and fell a few days ago while I was not home. I guess I'm just looking for some advise on if I'm doing the right thing by not making her go to a doctor or if I should take her to the hospital so they can force feed her or something. I don't really want to go against her wishes since she still is of sound mind. But I don't know if I could handle her dying from malnutrition or falling when I'm supposed to be her caregiver. I already feel bad enough being gone for work during the day and now trying to finish school two nights a week. Any advise or recommendations would be appreciated.