How would you advise your mom (81) should she have hernia surgery or not? She doesn't want it.

After reading what Veronica wrote it sounds like the surgery is not a major surgery. However, Garden does have some good points too. I don't know that I would encourage her to go thru more if she says she had enough and no more. My MIL had kidney failure and chose not to have dialysis. The family was not in agreement with her decision. Then after 2 trips to the hospital, she told my husband that she didn't want to go to the hospital anymore. They sadly chose to honor her wishes and get her on hospice. Slowly they all came around to accept that mom was done with medical intervention and they all spent as much time with her as they could and just enjoyed her company and made the most of the time they had left with her. Either way, this is not an easy decision but ultimately, it is your moms to make. God Bless.

More information would be helpful - what is the recommendation of the doctor who would be handling the surgery? What other conditions does your mother have?

Your profile states that she has cancer...what kind, and especially what stage? Have you consulted with her oncologist re a potential hernia surgery and what effect it would have on your mother?

More information really would help to answer your question. My first thought would be that someone battling cancer doesn't need any more emotional or physical challenges. The other major issue I think would be whether or not the hernia is causing pain or side effects. If not, I wouldn't put her through anything more with cancer being present.

I can not advise your mom on whether to have the surgery or not that is entirely her decision. Not having it done gives her the risk of having a piece of intestine trapped in the hernia hole in her belly. That will cause the piece of intestine to die and without emergency surgery she will die. If she is currently not inconvenienced by it there are braces that she can be given to wear which may keep hernia in place. she can leave well enough alone and nothing adverse may happen for the rest of her life. The actual surgery is done an an outpatient either under general anesthesia or spinal anesthesia with sedation. If she is currently in fairly good health there will be little risk and not a great deal of pain well controlled by the pain pills prescribed. The op takes about 1/2 hour and an hour or so in recovery and then home. She can walk around as usual, go to the bathroom . She will need help for a few days but able to be left alone if she usually can manage. These days there are no restrictions so she can do whatever she feels like after a few days rest. Be sure not to let her become constipated while she is taking the pain pills, taking a stool softener from day one is a good idea.
I had double hernia in my late 60s and at 76 would not hesitate to do it again. It all depends on Mom's general health. If she leaves well enough alone she will have enough time to get emergency surgery if that becomes necessary. Surgery has changed a lot over the last 50 years since I have been a nurse and is now much more user friendly.