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She can't sit still, etc. She can't stand to be at home by herself for very long. She has to get in her car and go somewhere several times a day. She just can't calm down.

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How can you get her back to that geriatric doctor? Or can you find another one? It is really trial and error to find the drugs that will calm her but not put her in a stupor. Do NOT talk about her "memory problems," and ask the doctor to avoid those words. She needs to be seen for her nerves, or whatever story might work to get her seen and on the right medication.
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I would try a med review with the doctor. Effexor can have funny side effects and not every thing works for every person. Some of them just have odd side effects.
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jeannegibbs -- my mom is in the first stages of dementia (not even diagnosed). We are keeping a close watch on her driving. She only drives certain places. But we are wondering how we will know when the time has come to stop her driving. I hate for that day to come, because of what I stated earlier. Hard to make these decisions. We took her to a geriatric doctor last year and she said she would not go back. I think she was afraid of getting a diagnosis.
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I told the doctor each time we had to deal with moms roaming and getting out of the house she seemed extremely anxious as if she were on a mission to find something. One time after finding her she said she was looking for the parade in a very anxious tone. THE DOCTOR SAID HE COULD HELP US WITH THIS AND PRESCRIBED A VERY LOW DOSE OF CITALOPRAM (CELEXA). I also started giving her MELATONIN (a very natural calmer and sleep aid over the counter from Costco). This all seemed to work like a charm to keep her calmer. Anyway we have since alarmed the doors and placed large signs on them stating ELLEN DON'T LEAVE THE HOUSE as well but again we have not had any major incidents since the Celexa and Melatonin. God Bless.
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Your profile says that Mom has dementia. I'm very concerned about her getting in the car and taking off several times a day. Is she truly safe to drive?

It sounds like Mom's medications need to be re-evaluated. Is she seeing a geriatrician? Someone very experienced at treating patients with dementia?
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Sounds like your mother is suffering the emotional pain of anxiety. Would she be open to seeing a doctor about this? Medication can be a great help and sometimes trial and error is needed to find the right one. Hopefully you both can hang in there until something is found to ease your mother's distress (and yours). Blessings to you both.
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I am having the same problem with my 80 year old Dad. He gives me anxiety just being around him. He does not want to be drugged. So, the only advice I can tell you is when you are feeling like she is getting on your nerves, before you blow up, leave the room or the house. You need to get away for a while or you will just wind up getting angry and say something you will regret. I was talking to a nurse who told me she was having the same problem with her Mom. They put her mom on Zanax and that did not help. Sorry that you are in that situation. Just remember to take care of you.
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