Thank you to all who respond. My mother, who abused me as a child, was baker acted 5 times in 2015 and I stepped in a took her in. From there she did well and I suffered. I left her in the care of my siblings and she was baker acted again and that last time she was put in a medicaid nursing home where she thrived.( and this place was awful in my opinion but she was happy) All was well until she was sexual assaulted by resident and I got her out the very next morning after the assault. Since then, my mother has spiraled out and is abusive to me. She called me every name in the book today and spat on me. I'm a 37 year old woman who is married and very happy except for my mother in my home making me walk on egg shells. She is on meds for mental health and has basal cell stage 3. My mother is treated better than most mothers even with the horrific childhood and adulthood I have had from her. With that background information so you have a clearer picture, is it legal to give her SSID card and kick her out? Not literally but get her a hotel ? She refuses to sit with people so I can get assistance for her to be put in a nursing home. I let this go on too long and I can't let myself be abused in my own home or as a almost 40 year old woman. I would give her a phone etc and make sure she has all her meds etc but is that legal or do I have to go through courts? She isn't baker actable so that's not an option. I want her to be safe but not at my health expense etc. My siblings refuse to take her in as they were abused by her and still are.
Spitting on you is assault, call 911 and have her arrested.
ER dump her immediately.
Do not pay to put her in a hotel, do not pay anything for her. She is not your problem. She (in the short term) belongs either in a hospital, psych ward, or jail and in the long term a facility.
To clarify, Mom is refusing to have aides/sitters so you can go out? To do necessary tasks you need to? Is this right?
If so, this is *refusing care*.
Refusing care can stem from lack of insight &/or lack of empathy. Not understanding her own needs, not understanding/caring about yours. This happens. Especially with mental illness, any kind of brain injury or dementia.
It's not reasonable. So you have to be the reasonable one.
If a person refuses care in-home, care in a facility is next.
Mom may not meet the criteria for Baker Act (I image violence, harm to others, self-harm, or psychosis?) But as Barb suggested, a 'social admit' to the hospital for psych evaluation may be possible.
The bottom line is Mom IS allowed to refuse sitters in the home. But Mom is NOT allowed insist YOU are 24/7 caregiver.
Once you give permission to yourself to say no, the path will become easier. To speak up to professionals, with determination, make changes happen.
I'm sorry you find yourself in such a position. Wishing you good luck and Godspeed getting her out of your home and on with your own life now.
Call the ER and tell her that your mother can no longer be safely cared for in your home and that you are asking for a "social admit".