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More than I care to mention over the last 8 months. It hurts really bad. My mom seems to act out more with her medication then without. At this time she is out of med's because she has been kicked out of every Dr. office and she needs to start over with another Dr. If I make an appointment she will cancel it over and over again. She wants to take care of her own bills and there is nothing I can do. Some people have told me I just have to ride this out, I have no control of her or her finances. I live in her house to help her and she calls me b*tch most of the time and tells me she does not need anyone to help her. My mom has always been stubborn and never listening to anyone. I Since she is out of med's now since Jan. 2016 she is quiet and sleeps a lot, but she can pay her bills over the phone, I try to remind her when bills are over due. I've started to look for a job, because I did not work last year but I need some money. Is this typical of all Alzheimer/Dementia patients. Help Sharon.


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Thank you so much 0OMichael0O I really appreciate your answer it was very helpful, thanks so much and you are correct I've been interviewing for at least part time employment. I'm sure I will feel better. Thanks again
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First, you need to do something about your financial dependence upon your mother. Once you have a source of income and have independence you can look at the situation without the chains binding you to her. It sounds like she is not entirely dependent upon people and can get by with some reminders. Chances are you two may get along better after you are more independent. Sometimes significant change is necessary to balances the scales and change the dynamic in a relationship. Independence is liberating on many levels. Some states have laws that oblige children to care for their elderly parents. You may not be able to walk away no matter how much she protests. You should pursue legal advice and possibly gain some legal authority to handle her affairs with POA? but that will require her cooperation unless a court gets involved.
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Tell her Dr and tell an atty if you can, the trust attorney who wrote the trust should not be used exclusively, better to not make the lawyer better off by constructing a car wreck trust like mine did and then rake in thousands and tried to steal a million! Trusts are a easy way to clean out an entire lifetime of savings and nobody could or would know if the elder was secretive about their business and the trustee knows this!
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My mother didn't have dementia but she cursed a lot, was controlling, and she had a few doctors "fire" her in writing even. I was with her a few times when she accused doctors of trying to kill her. She had chronic lymphocytic leukemia and didn't want traditional treatments. She doctored herself via the internet and info from other people. She did Chinese medicine, homeopathic stuff, and so on. The one time I was with hershe was crying tears and telling (ok, actually screaming such that they escorted her out) the doctor he was trying to kill her. She had un-diagnosed histrionic personality disorder and was a hypochondriac (but she did have a lot wrong with her, some of those problems I now have so I understand better; hello plantar fascitis and interstitial cystitis, not nice to meet you). I put up with abusive parents my entire life. Now, she's gone, and my father is non-fuctional. Anyway, my point is that you're not alone, and you can get through it. You have to understand that you're not responsible for what she says and who she is and that no matter what she says, she's your mother, and you have to distance yourself from the natural hurt you want to feel. It doesn't even really matter if she "can't help it" if she's got dementia.
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Why is she being "kicked out" of doctor's offices? If she is quiet now that she is out of her meds, it sounds like they were not great for her. But without knowing her medical history, I do not want to speculate or diagnose. If you do not know if she has dementia, and you cannot get her to another doctor, find a job and move out since she doesn't seem to want your help. Let the chips fall where they may. There is no use in you ruining your health over someone who does not want any help. Tell her to stop calling you a b*tch and if she doesn't stop you will move out (if you are able). You don't have to take this abuse. People respond to dementia in various ways and there might be another illness causing the swearing. Tourette's syndrome's hallmark is swearing, but you won't know that unless she gets seen by a doctor. Good luck!
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Call an Elder Attorney usually consultations are free. Also call your Area on Aging. She is not taking care of herself. The courts could appoint a guardian. She could be dehydrated .It is hard to believe that a doctor will not oversee her care.
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My dad showed a lot of resentment in the beginning, but felt he had little choice. He did not cuss at us, but we knew he wasn't happy. It's a double-edged sword. You can ride it out knowing she needs help or detach and move out. It is your decision.
I put it down to the person who is unhappy about the way life has turned out for them and they vent on those close to them. It doesn't get better.
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try to get POA papers signed no b4 it gets worse or you will be in a more of a mess.
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I think you need to recognize that this situation isn't going to change, and is only going to be harder and more devastating for you. I agree you should look for a job, and also look for a place of your own. Despite the fact that she's your mother, the disease has taken control of her thought processes and there's not much you can do, but don't allow yourself to be a verbal punching bag.

Others here will probably tell you that this is a difficult situation and likely isn't going to get anything but worse.
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