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Sorry if this is too long but I'm at my wits end with my 68 yo Mom... She has a history of alcohol abuse, is mixing her meds with it and falling asleep with a lit cigarette causing 3rd degree burns. We've had talks about her going into assisted living but with covid that isn't possible right now.
She was sent to ER last night bc she didn't go immediately after she burnt herself. She's fallen quite a few times recently and is just cognizent and charming enough as a former nurse to talk her way out of what's actually going on with her at the doc's office or hospital.
I spoke to attending nurses at ER last night about what really happened and she denied it all, being released home last night to be home by herself. My sister lives with her part time but is fed up. Mom is recently divorced from my father, her sister passed away a few mths ago, and has no real family left. She has been suicidal her whole life and she has mentioned to me recently that she's giving up and has nothing left to give.


I don't know how to proceed to help or keep her/my sister safe in their home. Any direction or advice is SO appreciated TIA.

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You say that your Mom has been suicidal her whole life. Has she been diagnosed as having clinical depression? Has she tried medications. In general the alcoholism you relate is what is often called "self medicating" or as I call it, slipping the bonds of this world. With age, and with Covid-19 hindering us this will be worse. Please call a suicide hotline and get some advice on where to turn. I think step one, if she will do this, if to get a diagnosis, to see a doctor. Short of telling her that you love her, and hope she will not injure herself, and that you need her, would miss her, there is little you can personally do. Eventually children who live with this all their lives (my own Partner's Mom threatened from when he was in early high school through to the end of her life in old age. I have to be frank with you that it becomes an unintentional abuse on the family, hearing the constant threats and living with the constant fear, and by the time his Mom died my partner was only too happy to have her finally out of misery and at peace. That is awfully sad, but it is fact often enough.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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"She has been suicidal her whole life and she has mentioned to me recently that she's giving up and has nothing left to give."

Sounds to me your mother suffers from depression. She needs to treat her mental health first because that's the root cause of her destructive behavior.

If I were in your situation, I'd get her to see a good specialist who can treat her depression.

It's sad that your mother thinks she has no real family left. She has two daughters that really care about her. I am guessing you're a daughter, correct me if I'm wrong.
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Reply to polarbear
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Call Adult Protective Services and tell them what you’ve related here
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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