PamStegman, ArieneHutcheon, Gladimhere, Irishlasses, Kseale, Momsonlyhope, lilyoy, KarenC, Stressed52, 2tsanq, Norway, Karen R. Ba8olou, jujubean, Kazina, Carol Bradley Bursach, Captain, JeanneGibbs, (there were a few more) so my apologies, I have a question regarding my son who is 32 and he hasn't for some unknown reason spoke to me for 7 years. His wife is having a baby in 2 weeks. This is a very hard question to ask, so if you could try to tell me how to respond to the first letter of acknowledging his email. My son was raised well, had everything he needed (went to a private college and then went to master's degrees two in 3 years).
He has since married, and has not asked his father (we are friends but divorced). We never ever allowed the divorce to get in the way of our parenting.
The son in his later years, was very judgmental and felt that he could start controlling the set of four parents (step parents including), I love my son so I am trying to put this in a nice light. My son got married three years ago. We the father and I found out after the fact. It hurt me to no end. then my family (my parents are too old and ill to make decisions) started having family functions without my husband and myself. We thought, well ok, we don't understand but that is their choice, and why would we want to be around people that are not saying a word, and not returning voice mails and or texts (which one is the POA) and I am sweating that, because my father states he is going to change that but it better be soon. mom is 88 Alzheimer, Dad PPA, well my son decides to write to me. This is after five years of not speaking to me. I had not one clue. I got a letter that basically stated, I would love to have the baby clothes that are mine, and if you could drop them off at my sisters (that doesn't speak to me), my thought was I would just drop them off at a corner for him to pick up. The problem is this, this child has manipulated everyone and has blamed his entire life the "poor me" syndrome on the fact his parents divorced at his age of 3. We his parents are very cordial and very sad that we have a son that will not speak to either of us, and that includes the every six month's of hello and we hope you are well. He ignores mother's day and my birthday and I get this in an email.
Tonight around midnight I get an email that states: and I am not for privacy reasons typing in the entire email. But basically his father and I divorced at his age of 3 and he has never forgiven me for that, then the list goes on and on, and he has decided to launch onto one thing, and this child (adult) hasn't even talked to and/or seen me in 5 years, so why in the world hasn't he worked on the issues he is so concerned with. Sure my heart has been aching because I am going to be a grandma, in two weeks, but never got to share in the joy of that, and then never got to meet the woman he married. Still haven't 4 years this march. My family hasn't said a word to me. My husband and I are very good people we help the community and reach out to do charity work. My son though states some quotes I will type, and My question is how would any of you respond.
I really appreciate you wanting to give me the baby outfit, and would love to have it. I do not want to meet you alone (why do I bite?those are my comments), so drop it off at Sue's. The sister that will not speak to me.
You have written ever two month's without fail with nothing but very positive comments for me and my wife mom and I appreciate that. I am sure your hope is that one day I can find space to let you back into my life. I have said this before, but it is really important to me that you understand why I have kept you at a distance over the last 6 plus years. I am not holding onto any grudges!!!! (REALLY), or trying to punish you for shortcomings you may or may not have had while we were growing up.
I do not trust you and dad. It is very clear that experiences have piled up over the years and have led me to a place where I no longer want to be around either of you. (Gee thanks for what). Remember everyone I have another son, 26 that is 180 of this, and live in the same household, with the same father. He must have forgotten all the thousand's of dollars on camps and cars and everything else. I really really wish things could be different, and bay be one day they can, but it really depends on your willingness to open up about things. (About what)? He obviously has told people he is mad his father and mother divorced at age 3, but what? He will not tell us, but lets us know that he is hopeful that we have had success in our lives, and that we are ready to admit all our faults (common people) this is my child or our child. We are good wonderful parents, we were not meant to be married, we made a huge and still do effort to be cordial. He hates that by the way.
Then he says the door is always open, I am ready when you both are ready to change. HELP!