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My mother was admitted to the hospital 7 days ago the doctors told me whenI arrived at the hospital that my was admitted for lung failure she could not breathe on her own. after my mother was sent up to the ICU my mother's status is completely unconscious depending on a ventilator the next day the doctor told me that my mother had sepsis and that she would most likely not survive.so me and my sister sitting by my mother's bedside start to see some type of life in my mother I'm movement she seems to be agitated trying to sit up only to lay back down seeming to fall into a deep sleepI have also been able to communicate with my mother and she replies back with head nods and from time to time if we ask her to squeeze our hand she will I asked her if she's in pain she says no . and my mother doing these things make me and my sister very hopeful but then she always seems to fall right back into a deep sleep the doctors once they got my mother stable as far as blood pressure and heart rate they tried to wake her up she was taking off all sedatives and the doctor said she should wake up usually around 40 minutes after all sedatives have worn off .yesterday my mother seemed to be doing a lot better as far as showing signs of life she's sitting up and then slowly laying back down moving your feet around and sliding around on the bed the doctors don't want her to pull her tube out so they gave her ativan and then fentanyl for my moms agitation and so she could relax now this is where I become confused they tell me that my mother has delirium and that's why she is not waking up something about it's taking a long time for the drugs to wear off and this is where I ask why are they continuing to dope her I have asked the doctors and nurses this question but they seem to be more worried about her pulling her ventilator tube out but if you Dopeing her all the time she'll never wake up we also asked the doctor for a brain scan to see if it would show anything and I couldn't believe he said it wouldn't show anything me and my sister strongly disagreed on the spot whether it would be for her health or quality of life I see signs of life but I need to know if there's other people that have gone through the roller coaster ride that me and my sister are on I'm sorry everybody I know that some of this may not make much sense but if you have gone through this I know you understand what do we do

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Had very similar experience with my dad. Sepsis can cause many organ systems to fail. If she is not improving after a week medically-continuing to require the ventilator- She may become dependent on it. Request a family meeting with the case manager and doctors. Quality of life is most important. Life is not meant to be lived attached to a machine confined to bed. Sometimes it is much more loving and kind to allow natural death.
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From what you are describing, it sounds like your mother is terminal and the doctors are just trying to keep her comfortable. Sometimes the dying process takes a long time. I understand how you must feel. Many years ago I went through it with my father who spent two weeks in the hospital, semi-conscious, dying of cancer. It was a long painful two weeks when there was no hope and we suffered with him, whenever the drugs wore off and he was conscious of what was happening and in pain. If your mother doesn't receive drugs, she may become more restless, pull out her respirator or IVs or become upset. It sounds like you need a meeting with the doctor to describe for you exactly what is happening and explain why they are doing what they are doing. You need to know whether there is hope or not as it doesn't sound like that has fully explained. Hugs to you and family.
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No she is on a vent and she is breathing over the vent
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The way I understand it, your mother is on a ventilator and will never breath on her own? I think you need to accept that she will not recover. Would you rather she was awake, aware, afraid, agitated and in pain? They are trying to keep her comfortable and ease her suffering, sometimes we have to accept that our hope for goodbyes is not realistic. Ask to speak to the social worker at the hospital about this, and read on this site about end of life issues. I'm sorry.
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Yes I went on a similar roller coaster ride. You are witnessing someone who is dying. Did your mother ever discuss her preferences for end of life? I am so sorry to see you go through this. As an old lady myself (63) I made sure I wrote down NO to feeding tubes, respirators or anything extraordinary. Just give me the comfort drugs Ativan, Morphine and at the very end Haldol. I was with my aunt the night she died. Eyes closed, but would squeeze my hand, feet constantly moving like she was on a marathon. As difficult as this is for you, it would be ten times worse without the drugs. Ask your angels to guide you.
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