My husband is just starting with dementia issues - is it ok to travel for a weekend to a place he's been to several times with friends? We usually go south for the winter. (Jan - Mar) If he is still in the early stages, is it ok if we still go? Just trying to figure this out.
I've been through a couple of nightmare visits to public restrooms with my husband, who has dementia. My friend, whose husband has dementia also, has directed her DH into a restroom and waited outside, but a long time went by and he didn't come out. No one else was apparently in there but she decided not to go in herself, so she grabbed a passerby and asked him to go in to check on her husband. "He's six feet tall and wearing a blue jacket!" Turned out he was okay but stayed in there, just standing around, I guess. Poor guy may have not known how to exit the restroom.
A trip can have consequences in a dementia patient's cognition. They don't adapt well to changes in their routines. They even can become scared and grab onto things like railings or tables in a restaurant, and woe be unto you if you try to pry them loose!
As for south for the winter, yikes. Maybe yes, maybe no. Will he take off on his own and try to walk home? Will he dress properly for the weather? Such as, what if he puts on several garments at once, such as shirt on top of shirt on top of sweater and another shirt over it? And two pairs of gardening shorts on top of jeans? Do you have the energy to talk him into undressing and trying to dress him properly? Can he eat in a restaurant, know how to use a fork? A knife? Will he steal things, as my husband did with table decor, refusing to put it back so that the server said it was okay if he kept it.
There's a lot to think about. His safety and your sanity must be uppermost in your thoughts. I wish you luck whatever you decide.
It might not be what you expect.
There is no telling what goes on in the mind.
He may be just fine with a drive of several hours. But when it comes to bedtime he might want to go home.
Then there is the "problem" of a hotel room.
Will he get up and want to leave? Will he get out of the room?
If you fly the confusion and activity at the airport may be frightening. Ask for Wheelchair assistance. They will pick you up in a cart and bring you to the gate.
You might want to do a trial run.
Book a weekend at a hotel a ways away from home.
Pack a bag, and see what happens, how he reacts to being in a strange place over night.
Now your trip south for the winter may be just fine.
He might (or might not) have problems with the initial trip but once he gets to the "Florida home" he may settle in and get comfortable once he gets used to the surroundings. This might take a week or two. then you will have to deal with the same things on the return trip in March.
I suggest you get Door Alarms. They look like old fashioned door stops. You place them in front of the door if the door is opened the door goes over the stop and depresses the top a bit and it sounds an alarm. (great for anyone using a hotel)
So by taking your husband out of his routine and home and going south for the winter may just be too much for him even if he's in the early stages of the disease.
I guess you won't know until you try, but don't be surprised when he seems to progress even more while you're away from home.
I think I would start with a weekend away before opting for the 3 months down south to see how he does with just being away from home and his routine for a few days, and take things from there.
However, I had a different take on this. If this is a trip they make annually to see the usual friends, I think it does fit in with his consistent routine.
This should be familiar to him.
Although, they should be prepared to adapt and change plans if it becomes upsetting for him.
We started just driving. We're in our late 50's and since PCA took her vision, she's fine with me leading her into men's rooms to use the toilet. Would you be fine with taking your Hubbins into a public ladies room? If not, you'll want to find places that have rest rooms for "either sex". Starbucks is one example and they are pretty ubiquitous along the interstate. Eating can be a challenge but I find that if we sit down at a restaurant in the "off times" instead of rush hours, we can take our time and eat at our own pace. Else, it is fast food and we eat in the front seat and I help her then choke down my sandwich and off we go.
Not ideal, but we're also not ones to stay at home. THAT SAID - she was diagnosed in 2019 and then starting early this year 2025, 6 years in, she is more an more anxious about being away from home and our travel days are winding down.
Blessings and best of wishes as you strive to "keep doing what you can while you can" which is our motto!
I hope that you can both enjoy each others company for as long as possible. Best wishes to you both.
TravelEmpty heading
Right away, she lost her passport and wasn’t even concerned about it. While on the trip, wherever we went, she thought she had already been there. She thought she knew people she had never met and would start conversations with strangers. She didn’t remember if she had had lunch, or whether it was day or night.
Traveling is still possible in the early and middle stages of dementia progression, but with proper planning and lots of precautions. Whether it is advisable to travel is a question that requires careful weighing of the benefits against the risks involved.
Traveling is stressful for a person with dementia, and their reaction to the added stress can be unpredictable. The changes in their daily routine, the unfamiliar environment, and the pace of activities all add to the confusion, anxiety, and aggression that the patient experiences in the best of times.
Plan for TravelEmpty heading
· If possible, travel with a trusted person who can assist you during unexpected events or situations. Expect that the patient’s behavior will be much more problematic while traveling than on a regular day at home.
· Make a list of everything that you will need ahead of time so you don’t forget anything important. Take extra clothing for cold or warm weather. Pack ample incontinence supplies, wet wipes, snacks, and drinks. Include slippers and neck pillow for additional comfort. Provision for the patient’s entertainment on the way, including music, storybooks, photo albums, and so on.
· Take along medications, medication list, dosage and time instructions, your doctor’s phone number, and other essential and emergency phone numbers.
· If you plan to fly, ask your doctor to write a letter indicating the patient’s type of illness and their special needs, and requesting help and cooperation, especially from airport security staff and flight crew.
· Think through possible incontinence scenarios, such as in the departure area or on the plane. How would you deal with them should they arise?
While on a TripEmpty heading
· Do not pack too much into a day. Plan more time than usual for every activity. Allow plenty of time to rest and recharge between activities.
· Try to make the patient’s daily schedule during the trip resemble their regular schedule at home as much as possible.
· Prepare for the possibility of wandering. The patient may get disoriented in unfamiliar environments, wander off, and get lost. Stay with the patient at all times, and do not let them out of your sight.
· Be ready to pick up and return home on short notice. Your trip may need to be shortened unexpectedly due to unforeseen circumstances.
When Visiting Family and FriendsEmpty heading
Although the patient may not remember the names of friends and relatives, they will enjoy seeing familiar and friendly faces. When planning to visit friends and relatives, alert your hosts about the patient’s special needs ahead of time so your hosts can better accommodate the patient during their visit.
· Stay calm in the event of mishaps. Treat the patient with respect at all times.
· Do not address the patient like you would a child. Avoid baby talk and any other speech or behavior that could be demeaning to the patient.
· Do not discuss the patient’s illness or behavior in front of them.
· Ask friends and relatives to stay in the patient’s field of view. Have them approach gently, smile and make eye contact, introduce themselves, and call the patient by name to draw their attention.
· Ask everyone to respect the patient’s personal space and not get too close unless invited to do so by the patient.
· Encourage people to use hand and face gestures when interacting with the patient for better communication.
· Make certain that your host does not offer any food or snacks to the patient before consult
He won't be alone.
Still, a good list to print out and highlight with a marker. Gena
Just be prepared to adapt and change plans if it becomes to much for him.
Routine is key for a dementia sufferer. Familiar faces, familiar places, and keeping daily activities at the same time will help avoid causing upset.
You'd be surprised, as his condition progresses, how the smallest change in his daily routine can make him anxious and upset!
I googled and found:
When should you stop traveling with dementia? ---- Signs indicating that travel with a person with dementia as a passenger is inappropriate may include: consistent disorientation or agitation in familiar settings. wanting to go home when away from home on short visits. delusional, paranoid, aggressive or disinhibited behaviour.
Is it good for people with dementia to travel? --- The team of Australian researchers report that some of the varied experiences that come with travel -- sightseeing, dining out and enhanced physical activity -- can provide cognitive, sensory and social stimulation that could have some real health benefits for people living with dementia.
Alz Association 800.272.3900
https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/safety/traveling
Some on their website is listed below:
General travel considerations --- Environmental changes can trigger wandering or confusion. Consider enrolling in a wandering response service.
(GG: I don't know what this is)
It may be helpful to stick with the familiar. Travel to known destinations that involve as few changes in daily routine as possible.
Evaluate options for the best mode of travel. Based on needs, abilities, safety and preferences, decide what would provide the most comfort and the least anxiety.
When selecting destinations, consider those that have easy access to emergency health services and pharmacies.
Consider everyone’s needs and desires as you plan your trip; elaborate sightseeing trips or complicated tours may cause anxiety and confusion.
Contacting the local Alzheimer's Association for resources and support.
If you will be staying in a hotel, consider informing the staff ahead of time of your specific needs so they can be prepared to assist you.
Have a backup plan in case your trip needs to change unexpectedly. This may mean purchasing travel insurance if you have booked flights or hotels.
Carry with you an itinerary that includes details about each destination.
Give copies to family members or friends you will be visiting or to emergency contacts at home.
Travel during the time of day that is best for the person. For example, if he or she becomes tired or more agitated in the late afternoon, avoid traveling at this time.
Have a bag of essentials with you at all times that includes medications, your travel itinerary, a comfortable change of clothes, water, snacks and activities.
Pack necessary medications, up-to-date medical info, a list of emergency contacts +copies of important legal documents.
Allow plenty of time for rest. Don’t over-schedule.
* * *
I would be prepared for the unexpected.
I always have my medical cards / pertinent information on one piece of paper, including my executor.
Gena / Touch Matters
So, be prepared to be adaptive and change your plans if necessary. Also, you might want to try and get back to the accommodation by early evening, if he starts sundowning, and you should be more aware of not tiring him out too much. Dementia sufferers become exhausted more easily and this can have an impact on their cognitive ability.
Wishing you and your husband all the best.
Mom's neurologist told my parents to travel.