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Alma, so your mother's neurosurgeon has recommended surgery for your 83 year old mother who has spinal stenosis, osteoarthritis, and a torn ligament in her shoulder. And you are helping your mother make the decision? Or making the decision on her behalf, as her medical proxy/with POA?

What surgery?
What results are we hoping for?
What's the worst that could happen if we do go ahead?
What happens if we *don't* go ahead? - will it slowly get better by itself, get worse, or not change much?

If the decision is to be your mother's, then you still need to understand exactly what the plan is REALLY thoroughly so that you can explain it to her step by step.

I sympathise: sometimes decisions are really easy - if we don't do this, you will die - but more usually it's a case of "we hope this will make you better, and it probably will, but it might not and there is a small risk it will make things worse. Do you want us to go ahead?"

But the least your mother's surgeon can do is explain the plan, properly, so that you're confident you have all the information you need. Do you feel s/he is doing that?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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get second opinion

stenosis is painful

has she had the non surgical treatments of injections ?
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Reply to MsMadge
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Is that someone you or your 83 year old mother?

What sort of advice are you looking for? Treatment, lifestyle, home adaptations, mental health?
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Alma888 Jul 5, 2019
Yes it's my mom...I am overwhelmed as the neurosurgeon recommend surgery even though he said it would be a difficult surgery. I am just not sure what to recommend to her on whether to do surgery or not
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Just be careful. Talk to your doctor.
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Reply to MAYDAY
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don't fall.
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