Hi everyone, so I just wanted some advice really. I live at home with my parents and grandma (who has dementia) I also have 2 other siblings who live at home also. I’m only 18 and had a baby last year who is now just turned 1. My grandad died 2 years ago and told my dad to look after my grandma, after he died she lived at her house with her sister for awhile but it got too much and she had to come live with us. She has dementia but we also believe she has something else as she’s very simple sometimes and can’t hold a conversation. My issue is the fact that her hygiene is so bad now; she goes to the toilet 1 million times a day and never washes her hands, she also never ever showers and then when my dad makes her she pretends. I don’t know what to do anymore I’m nearly 19 and am finding it so hard as my child is getting older and she is constantly touching his face and when I say don’t she starts a huge argument saying she wants to go home and gets aggressive. My mum is her full time carer and gets most of the arguments but it’s hard for the whole house. Since coronavirus we haven’t really left the house because her and my dad are vulnerable. So whenever me and my mum try and escape to have some peace even if it’s for a walk we come back to shouting and arguing. I feel like just moving out now but it’s hard for me as I feel like I’m being pushed out more than wanting to actually leave. As I can’t stay in the house anymore it’s too much for me.

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Have you spoken to your mother and father about how you are feeling? You are so young to be out on your own with a baby, it would be difficult, but constant arguments will effect your child sooner or later. I would suggest your grandmother get a workup by a neurologist if not already. The doctor may prescribe a medication to calm her down. Depending on the stage of dementia they sometimes have difficulty getting their words out and carrying on a normal conversation. I would suggest educating yourself on dementia so you can have a better understanding of the disease. Hope things work out and things settle.
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Reply to earlybird

Most elderly people have depth preception issues so they do not bathe because they fear it. Put decals and a bright mat in the tub with a chair. Same with the sink.

Is she eligible for help?
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Reply to Stacy0122

I know that you know that this isn't a good environment for your little one. To be quite honest with you, your child is more at risk from the chaotic arguments that occur than from a dirty hand coming his or her way.
I don't know the financial constraints, or if you are able to work in these tough times, but I would tell you honestly-- and I think your post indicates you already know this-- that it is in your own, and your child's best interest to find your own place now. You are young to have your own small one, and it is hard to leave your Mom who I am certain is a support to you, but I think you already know this has to occur as soon as you can make it happen. So sorry. These are tough times, made tougher by the facts that families have to be together, there is much unemployment, and there is addred pressure.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

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