I'm 50, been living alone for 9 years, so I've gotten used to it. I did have one caregiving job that was live-in during those years, but it was a fairly self sufficient elderly woman in the early stages of Alzhiemers. I was with her for a little over a year. Her family said I was a good care-giver. I made all the decisions, did all the cooking , cleaning, bathing help, ect, and they paid the bills. But it was also very confining. I had to be there in case of emergencies, there was no relief help and the family only gave me one weekend a month off. I was able to sneak away for a couple hours to run to the grocery store maybe twice a week. I got $600 a month plus room and board.
What is the going rate now for that kind of live-in position?
Now, I have been asked to go back into live-in caregiving (after 3 years back in private house-keeping) for a friend who has been a cleaning client for the last 2 years.
Her husband is failing rapidly, has 2nd stage Alz, and after a recent fall, a hip replacement, and upon exrays they discovered Lung cancer. He will be home from a local care facility this week, so I am moving in to help his wife.
She is a very fiercely set in her ways person, very independant, stubborn, and do-it-herself kind of person. But she is also very loving and kind. We are alot alike.
She also has a heart condition of her own.
I am concerned that I find support because I have already seen evidence that Vivian is struggling with accepting the fact that she (89) can't do this all by herself anymore. She says she needs me, then doesn't want to listen when I make suggestions or if I ask questions during a physical therapy session she shushes me. No body likes being shushed!
I did address it with her and she was open to being more flexible with me, but the fact remains I have moved 6 times in six years, and I am moving in this weekend (3/28/09) and her husband is due home from the care center on Monday.
The other thing is, I agreed to do this for now as just a room and board (non-paying) position, as long as I could still get out to my cleaning jobs and earn a living. Her family has been very welcoming (though cautious at first, understandably, since they didn't meet me until very recently), and has said that they did thier research and I will be compensated accordingly, but they are not sure what that will be until "dad comes home and we see how much mom can do and how much you are needed".
I love this woman, she is a dear friend, but I am struggling with the adjustment of all of this, and I haven't even gotten completely moved in yet.
Any advice to help me feel a little more comfortable?