Okay here's the story, let me know what your advice is:
I have an 82-year old elderly father with remarkably good health and no signs of dementia. He does however have severe arthritis in his back and legs and it's to the point that he can hardly walk, pull himself up from a chair, etc. Last Sunday (8 days ago) his pain was so severe that I did what I truly thought was best and took him to the ER.
The hospital admitted him, did every test in the world and found nothing wrong except severe arthritis and weakness from "deconditioning" because he's been spending lots of time in bed (because of the arthritis pain). They gave him really strong pain meds, which he had an allergic reaction to, so they also gave him benedryl in a large dose. Three days into his hospital stay he was so loopy and confused from the meds that he couldn't even compose a sentence.
After a week in the hospital under "observation," (being drugged up with strong pain meds), he was discharged to a "rehab" facility to get stronger. I had such wonderful hopes this would be great--that he'd get off the pain meds, get his mental faculties back, have therapists to help him get stronger, etc. . . .
But, because of COVID he's alone is a crappy nursing home/rehab room, they aren't giving him therapy, they have him laying in a bed with a brief on because they won't even get him up to help him to the bathroom. They said he has an "altered mental state" and keep asking me if he has Alzheimer's. (side note, my mother died of Alz and I know what Alz looks like--believe me, dad's mind is sharp as a tack). What they are seeing as an "altered mental state" is the loopiness still from all the pain meds in the hospital.
Long story short, a week ago he was living independent albeit in lots of pain. He was mentally cognizant and mostly happy. After a week in the hospital he's confused, agitated, and now laying in his own pee in a crappy nursing home alone in COVID isolation. I was able to visit him today and he sobbed like a child saying he'd rather die than stay where he is.
What should I do??? I want to just pull him out of the nursing home/rehab center and bring him to my house, but after a week of laying in the bed in the hospital he's very weak and I know I'm not trained to help him get up, go to the bathroom, that kind of stuff. I could afford 3-4 hours a day of home health care, but what would I do the rest of the day? I've expressed my concern to the nursing home/rehab center, but I think they look at his state now and think he's always been that way. They don't realize that a week ago he was 10 times better just in lots of pain and needing pain management.
Oh dear lord, I thought I was doing the best thing for him when I took him to the ER, but I think I just killed him. Advice please???