Start (or continue) meditating and exercising. Find respite care stat and put yourself first whenever possible. Don’t assume the people you thought would be there for you actually are, but be open to the strangers who will make you cry with their kindness. And make sure you have a good lawyer.
If we are going really in "general terms" I would say: Expect to lose your relationship as you know it. You won't be wife. You will be caregiver. You won't be daughter. You will be caregiver. Your Mom won't be Mom, she will be the one in need of care. Your husband won't be hubby, he will be the one in need of care.
I will also say that in general your learning curve will be shockingly steeper than you imagined and you will judge both the one in need of care and yourself much too harshly.
I will also say you should expect the unexpected. Nothing can help you to line up the ducks in a row because they will constantly be scattering everywhere.
Also know that you will hold yourself responsible for their happiness and for their well being when there is no way you ARE or can be responsible for either. They will not be happy all the time. They never WERE happy all the time, with the only difference now being that you hold yourself responsible for their happiness (mistakenly and to no avail).
Look for answers to specific quesitons in the Care Topics in the main navigation menu.
If you post a question to the open forum, you will need to provide as much info as possible in order to get the best and most pertinent advice.
FYI:
This open forum is no different than FaceBook, X, Nextdoor, etc... this is a global forum. People post opinions that are often not sugar-coated and sometimes judgmental. You cannot have a thin-skin on this forum. The vast majority of the responders are very helpful, kind and sympathetic people who have walked in your shoes and those are the people you pay attention to. But some will be the turds in the punchbowl, just ignore them.
Try not to hang on to your previous life and any ideas you had of what life would be like. Your previous life is in the past and you won't be retaining it again. If you need to, cry. It's okay. The sooner you can let go of what was and open yourself to becoming a caregiver, which is short means negating who you had been, but accepting who you are becoming--someone whose purpose, for the time being, is putting someone else's list of of growing needs before themselves, then you will be able to make peace with the situation.
About what exactly? Because no one can answer such a general question. I could START. First thing I would say is "Join the Aging Care Forum and start reading". It would take a book on Amazon to begin, and there are, by the way, MANY. I especially recommend Gretchen Staebler's MotherLode.
There are many topics here. Find them on the AgingCare aqua-blue timeline at the top of the page. That may trigger some specific questions.
Meanwhile, you are in the right place and whatever you are dealing with you won't be alone here. Just start reading the forum and jotting down your specific questions to be addressed one at a time.
And a warm welcome to you! If you fill out your profile (click on avatar on far right of the AgingCare timeline, and on the menu click on profile), we will have a better idea of just what kind of caregiving you are doing, and for whom.
Expect to lose your relationship as you know it.
You won't be wife. You will be caregiver.
You won't be daughter. You will be caregiver.
Your Mom won't be Mom, she will be the one in need of care.
Your husband won't be hubby, he will be the one in need of care.
I will also say that in general your learning curve will be shockingly steeper than you imagined and you will judge both the one in need of care and yourself much too harshly.
I will also say you should expect the unexpected. Nothing can help you to line up the ducks in a row because they will constantly be scattering everywhere.
Also know that you will hold yourself responsible for their happiness and for their well being when there is no way you ARE or can be responsible for either. They will not be happy all the time. They never WERE happy all the time, with the only difference now being that you hold yourself responsible for their happiness (mistakenly and to no avail).
Look for answers to specific quesitons in the Care Topics in the main navigation menu.
If you post a question to the open forum, you will need to provide as much info as possible in order to get the best and most pertinent advice.
FYI:
This open forum is no different than FaceBook, X, Nextdoor, etc... this is a global forum. People post opinions that are often not sugar-coated and sometimes judgmental. You cannot have a thin-skin on this forum. The vast majority of the responders are very helpful, kind and sympathetic people who have walked in your shoes and those are the people you pay attention to. But some will be the turds in the punchbowl, just ignore them.
Oh, Geaton…that’s a great way of expressing some of the posts on this forum!
Hey, I may have to steal that line from time to time. It’s perfect! 😆
Thanks for the giggle and the wise words of advice!
I could START. First thing I would say is "Join the Aging Care Forum and start reading".
It would take a book on Amazon to begin, and there are, by the way, MANY.
I especially recommend Gretchen Staebler's MotherLode.
There are many topics here. Find them on the AgingCare aqua-blue timeline at the top of the page. That may trigger some specific questions.
Meanwhile, you are in the right place and whatever you are dealing with you won't be alone here. Just start reading the forum and jotting down your specific questions to be addressed one at a time.
And a warm welcome to you! If you fill out your profile (click on avatar on far right of the AgingCare timeline, and on the menu click on profile), we will have a better idea of just what kind of caregiving you are doing, and for whom.