I've been caregiver to mom for several years. She's in a memory unit now. I still tend to her, but my husband became ill with UTI symptoms. A visit to Dr proved it was UTI but other problems showed up. 2 CTs and a sonogram led to the find of a 1 1/2" tumor in head of pancreas, partial collapsed lung at bottom, enlarged gall bladder, kidney stones, cysts in the other kidney, diverticulitis, sliding hiatal hernia, but healthy heart. He has a biopsy due this Friday and will definitely have to have surgery to remove portion or all of pancreas depending on surgery. 40% chance it's a cyst, 60% chance it's cancer. He has been off work for a month today. If cancer, he wants to go into a nursing home since I've had 3 TIAs and several mild heart attacks. Also have brain tumor that caused seizures that are under control now. And the tumor removed from my calf in 2011 has come back with a vengence. He thinks if we remove the money in savings to a safe deposit box, I'll have something to live on if he isn't here anymore. I have tried to explain it won't work. There are records and Medicaid would go back 5 or more years. We are well over 65 and both draw our SS but he still works and has insurance at his company so, we only have part A Medicare. We had just purchased our burial plans and made arrangements about a month before he became ill so, all of that is taken care of. We do not want to burden our children with what we have gone thru with our parent/s. We had money in our savings account that would help us survive if added sparingly to our SS each month as long as we didn't become ill once he retires. But, the Drs/hospitals are already doing a great job of whittling it away quickly. If anyone could tell me what to expect if this is cancer and he is taking radiation treatments, I would surely appreciate it. How will he act? What can I do to help ease him thru it? Will he require a special diet? Meds? I know if the pancreas is removed, he will become a diabetic. I have to monitor my sugar to keep from getting the shakes/trembles and passing out. My middle brother is going to help me with mom during this and I will try to visit as much as possible. But, truly, I am terrified. I've had numerous surgeries and took care of myself afterwards even cooking and doing laundry the days I would get out of the hospital. My husband is totally incapable of domestic type work. Also, I have to keep up with his medications, his shopping, setting his alarm, getting him up, etc. What agencies can I go to for help? Anything helpful would be a blessing at this point. Thank all of you for the help you haven't realized you have given me since mom became so ill. The info on UTIs is what alerted me to his original symptoms that led to the finding of the tumor. Again, thank you.

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I'm very sorry to read your post. You have so much information to take in, and there are so many uncertainties: this must be a terribly frightening time for you and your husband.

At this point, probably the best thing you can do is take deep breaths and write down questions. I would expect the hospital where you will be receiving treatment to be able to direct you to the best agencies and services for your needs, because they will be aware of your overall situation and so they will have the most relevant information.

Have you told anyone about your leg?
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