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Dealing with family members that feel I'm killing 100 year old mother that had stroke but seems to rally after fluids are withdrawn and active. Dying.

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I do wonder why they feel that anything other than age or infirmity could be involved. We all are going to face our final day on earth and it is not the fault of anyone. I am sorry that you are having to go through this. I am sorry that your mother is not doing well. She will choose when it is her time. The only thing you or anyone else can do is keep her as comfortable and content as possible in this last part of her life.
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Dear bluedove54,

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. Does your mom have a health directive? Did she ever say what she wanted? Even at 100 years old deciding what is best to do is very hard. I know its hard to get all family members to agree. It was me and my three siblings and we didn't agree either. I wanted to do everything to save my dad, but they all wanted a DNR, so my dad a DNR. My dad was stubborn and didn't want to live in a nursing home or as an invalid.

Sending you love and hugs. Just know in your heart you are doing what you feel is right for your mom.
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On hospice, had stroke, unable to swallow safely. Withdrew fluids/food.
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Do they not understand that if she can't swallow and is given liquid by mouth, she'll aspirate and die of pneumonia? Are you ( or someone) swabbing her mouth?

I'm so sorry that you're in this dark place. We're here with you.

Dies she have meds for agitation?
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Blue Dove; I can only imagine how hard it must be when your family doesn't understand the treatment plan. Is your mom on Hospice?
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Bluedove, my mom is only 66 and going thru the same thing. Stroke, severe damage, swallowing dysfunction and she did not want a feeding tube. I am an only child but gave my children full imput on all decisions. They were aware she did not want a feeding tube so there were no issues or arguments. Perhaps they need to hear it from the doctors or hospice team that her options are limited, keeping her comfortable is the priority right now.
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