Several posts have suggestions regarding having adult protective services visit a loved one. Who's done this?

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Who has done this and can you give first hand experience? I've thought about it but my mom has refused to talk to any help in the past (meals on wheels, elder care mgr, etc). She fired in-home care after 3 weeks and refuses all help or assistance. She refuses AL. I wonder what will happen with APS if they were called in, will they help as in consult or will this turn into fiasco where we might lose all autonomy to have input on care plan?

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When my mother's dr. told us mom could not live alone anymore, he legally has to report that to the state which he did. Mom has Alzheimer's, couldn't take care of herself as well as she use to, she wasn't eating regularly.APS came by my mother's house, we don't know if they actually talked with mom or not, but mom gave my sister a business card she said she found on the door. A month later I got a call from APS, said they were following up after visiting my mother and wanted to know what I was doing to help my mother.I told the woman that we were waiting to get the results from a neurologist because my sister and I can't make decisions for our mother until she has been diagnosed as mentally incapacitated, that is how her attorney wrote the DPOA. She said you are doing everything right, just continue to keep a close check on your mother until you get the results and I will not be following up on this case again since your mother has an attorney and you have a DPOA that you can use once a diagnosis is made. I live in Ca., and this happened back in March. Mom is now living in assisted living participates in the memory care program everyday.
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I live in California and I have called Adult Protective Services twice. Each county handles these situations differently so it would be wise to find out how your county handled cases in the past. I had/have two loved elderly family members with Dementia, each who lived in different counties. One county was aggressive and wanted to help when my family refused all medical help while the other county stated they can only step in when a person is willing to accept the help. In my later situation I have Adult Protective Services, the Public Guardian of the court, the Chief of Police involved. All agencies are bound by a different set of rules and sometimes people who need help, but refuse, fall between the cracks. Finally, my father hurt someone so the police 5150 him so he was forced to the hospital for a complete medical exam, which placed him on a 72 hours hold. Our government agencies are understaffed and overworked and they rather not be responsible for another person if there is a willing family member to assist. Therefore, when it was found my father was in the final stages of Dementia and completely incompetent I was able to get him into a nice facility that was a good fit for him. He is on the right medication to address his aggression and agitation. My father has been in his new facility for three weeks and likes it. In the ending stages it is too difficult for them to do the simplest tasks, but they still fight for their independence. My father's life is much easier on him now and he is doing so much better.
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everyone should be careful if the elder has assets. i still insist that hospice gets cash kickbacks from facilities for forcing the placement of seniors and the whole dam town justice system might conspire to overtake the elders finances. im a criminal if my mom pays 450.00 worth of bills for me each month but a public conservator is perfectly legit in charging 150.00 an hour. my last couple of dealings with the justice system were fair, i have no complaints but there werent assets involved. if youve done nothing shady you may still have to mortgage your house to defend yourself. i trust and respect the judicial system until money is involved.
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I just completed my experience with APS. Though her attorney, cpa (now POA), banker, former attorney, the police and APS all agree that her caregivers have unduly influenced her and taken too much money they all agree that there is nothing they can do as long as she says she authorized the payments (comes to 125,000 a year for part time companionship). It is apparently someone else's call to make but not sure who they all think is left. I feel like I have done all that I could possibly do to protect her interests and I have failed and she is not speaking to my sister or I. What a mess!
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Sunflo2-Then all you can do is wait...I suggest you take a different path, and encourage your mother to live alone, tell her you will be busy with your travelling job and she has to manage on her own. She might be like my cat. Won't come inside at night at my urging, but will come in on her own...Best wishes.
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Ferris, no I haven't been successful getting drs to officially declare her incompetent even though they have written that she needs assistance. The one behavioral center psychiatrist said she needed 24/7 care but wouldn't back up with formal declaration of incompetence which I needed to invoke the DPOA.

All in all amazingly she is mostly good and managing. IMO it could be better and I would love her to have better quality of life, but she insists she likes things they way they are and adamantly tells me to stay out of her business. She writes checks and basically appears to manage her affairs. Sometimes she is crazy talk on the phone or when I visit and that is when I panic and want to call APS. Her primary care physician sympathizes with me but says at this point we have to wait til next imminent event health, police, or otherwise and he will write letter then. So at this point I sit tight.

I always envisioned APS as being a help and I think they are for some cases, especially for children...but not so much for elderly unless there is abuse, or blatant disorder in the living conditions.

So I remind myself that I am respecting her rights even if it is not "my way". PS I live 6 hrs away and work full time in a travel job. My sib has chosen to be out of the picture though he emotionally supports me and is a loving brother. He advises against APS.
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oh my goodness...what a wrote sounds terrible. i have offered that my mom live here; i have a nice sunny basement apartment; she doesn't want to come. i understand that; she's not easy to live with; well set in her ways. i call her several times a day, and do make any calls i feel are needed....it's so difficult..for them and for us.....
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i hate to read what i wrote..please excuse grammar and typos.....
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with my family, my mom is able to take care of herself. i know she is beginning to have more problems; when i visited, she was low on pills, which i take care of. i found her doctors, she doesn't like them. i try to help as much as i can. i live 21/2 hours away; my brother lives 10 minutes away, and my sister 40 minutes. i am a brain surgery survivor, with other ailments...but i do try to help. i am praying for answers. as aps said...no one can force anyone to do anything. we as the adults, just have to pray and help when we can. when my mom kept taking my father back, i finally told her; if you take him back again, when the police call, i will not answer the phone. you've enabled my father for 54 years, and i have too many problems to try and help but yet feel helpless. i hope this makes sense. by distancing my self from my father, i've had peace. i am going to try and call him again, but i pray God give me strength for the assault that is certain to come.
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Sunflo2- You do not mention is your mother incompetent? There is really nothing anyone can do if she is able to manage on her own. If her doctor signs a letter stating she should be in a facility, then you could contact APS, but then they are going to turn it back to the family for a family member to assume guardianship/conservatorship. Be sure you are prepared for that responsibility.
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