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My mom lives in an Adult Family Home. She take so long in bathroom 30-40 minutes they now want to raise her rent 300 a month which is tough for us. Any suggestions to hurry her up?

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Kevin, we are all here for each other. Its ok to vent we all need that sometimes. Was her husband a vet by any chance? If so apply for benefits for her. My mom received hers last year and they have helped us afford a nice place for mom, at least of a couple of years. Then she will have to go on medicaid if she is still with us. Its really tough trying to stretch they money she worked so hard to save. Thank you all for your feedback it is truly appreciated.
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It is so sad reading these answers. Families are reaching out to get any help they can get and there seems to be no one there. I always said that the elderly and the mentally ill in this Country always get the shaft. Seems able- bodied people get the help from government but seniors who really need it get NOTHING. If I had a wish, I would wish that ALL elderly, no matter what their background is, get everything in their final years. Families shouldn't need to kill themselves and worry about where desperate help is. The elderly have been the background of this Country ie: the Veterans. This Country needs to take care of the elderly no matter what. Sorry, everyone for venting. I'm in the same boat here. Mom needs long term care, she is not able to get on Medicaid, lives off a measley ss check, I am exhausted caring for her (she has nobody else), my ss check drained helping to pay for electric, heat etc. checked every avenue for help & she's been lost between the cracks. I'm just disgusted today. Sorry folks.
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It seems like she is just slowing down. I think this can be expected considering her age and health issues. Perhaps trying to negotiate, but definitely realize her care needs and cost will increase as her condition declines.
Best of luck to you and your family.
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No they never said anything about that i will check with her doc. Thanks Sunnygirl
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I've read that some seniors take a daily does of antibiotic due to recurring infections. I don't know the pros and cons of that. Maybe someone who does can chime in. Has her doctor mentioned it?
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ff yes mom has had macular degeneration for 25 years. She manages very well with the sight she has left, but that does slow her down as you can imagine. After seeing her again today i am convinced the UTI is causing the major change in her movement. The doc put her on a different antibiotic and added an antifungal this time in hope to stop this thing. She just finished antibiotics april first but it must not have got it all. Thanks all for your support.
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Ramiller, does Mom have any issues with her sight? I noticed since my Dad's eyesight is more of an issue now, he [94] is moving more at a snail's pace.... except when it is 5pm and time to head down to the main dining room at the facility, then he's on a roll :P

Since my Dad has a recent UTI, I noticed he's not thinking as clearly as he did prior, so his memory issues are more than age related now.
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Oh, I see. She's 92 and doing tests isn't a good option. I agree to keep check on the UTI. I have read that often at this age, the infections are bound to return. She seems comfortable, right?

I would think that at 92, being slow would be expected. I wouldn't think that hurrying her up would be an option. I'd just hope that she is able to continue, even if it's at a slow pace. If she's happy there and there are funds to cover it, then I think I would try to keep her there, keeping in mind that her limitations may increase drastically at anytime. I'd try to tour some places that could accommodate her just in case its needed.
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Hi Sunny, thanks for the input. She never had any type of brain exams and since she is 92 I doubt going down that road is an option. She will not go in am MRI machine she hates them so much. She never had any signs of dementia until about 90 and as I said its mild but as we all know when she gets these UTIs it gets worse so Im thinking that may be causing this sudden slowness in movement. The home will keep her I think but perhaps my sister and I sould have a conversation with them to get ahead of the game and be prepared for any outcome. Thank you for reminding me of what I should already know which is things can change on a dime when it comes to caring for the elderly. Sometimes things are going so well we forget that tomorrow everything could be different.
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Has your mom had an examination of her brain, like an MRI? Have they ruled out things like neurological damage or some kind of a condition that effects the brain like a stroke or Parkinson's. I'd pursue that, because it might provide some guidance as to her prognosis.

You say that she has dementia. I do know some people who have dementia, who move slowly like you describe. Has she had a mental evaluation lately?

Does the Adult Family Home provide care for people who are not able to move much? If she continues to slow down, would she be able to stay there? I think I might explore that, since the cost could go much more if say, they have to provide her total assistance with her hygiene and toileting.
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So just some background, the home is an Adult Family Home only 6 residents. Very beautiful home and people. They only have one bathroom . I was there yesterday and really observed my mom. I think something is happening mentally with her. She does have slight dementia, not real bad but when she gets up and moves around at all its truly at a snail's pace. I work with the elderly so I understand they are slow and rightly so, but to take 5 minutes to move from a sitting position to her wheelchair ( with help) is just not normal. She literally takes that long. And then once in bathroom all her movements are in super slow motion. I understand the raise in rent because it takes one person over an hour to get her up and to the breakfast table. When I originally posted I thought it was just the bathroom but after last night I see it with every time they move her. She does have another UTI so perhaps thats part of the problem and maybe if they can get that cleared she will get better. She gets a UTI so often and its not due to poor care, they keep her so clean and dry, I dont know why she keeps getting them. Thanks all for your answers, just grasping at straws here.
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I can't see how raising the rent by $300 is doing to help the situation on the bathroom. Your Mom is going to keep doing her routine. I see nothing wrong with her routine as that is her norm.

How many bathrooms are in this Adult Family Home? More than one, I hope. Why can't the residents use another bathroom?
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Are they wanting to move her to a room with private bathroom, so nobody is waiting on her? Or, are they having to assign someone to her to try to get her through her bathroom routine? Is she safe when she is the bathroom by herself? Sorry $300 a month additional sounds tough, but it may not be unfounded. Maybe you can try to negotiate it down a bit. Unfortunately the more service the more expensive, and elders will require more as they age. Best of luck
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That's why the people are there. They need time management counseling.
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Thanks Pam the thing is my mom is so much better its just that she has gone back to her ways of putzing around making sure her pants are fixed just right, fussing with washing her hands couple times, wiping the counter. Its not that she needs more care its just that she holds things up for others. I thought maybe someone had a situation like that and had some advice as to how to get her to pick up the pace. She was doing fine when she got there 6 months ago but slid back into her old ways the past month. Anyway just thought maybe someone had some suggestions.
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Not really. As the patient declines, the level of care bill goes up. Sorry.
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