Doesn't the person in charge of mom's finances have to help pay for her care?

Follow
Share

I have filed an APS report for fiduciary abuse. My father,89, is sole care taker for my step-mom 84 with Alzheimers. All her assets, paid off home, inheritance from her mother, savings, annuity and most her social security. Are all under the control of her daughter. my father provides all care. they will not pay for her dental work even though detrimental to her health, any in home help, time for him to recharge, help with hygeine for her. he shops, washes, bathes, takes her to all appts, cooks, cleans etc. he never leaves her alone. I assert they have obligation and responsibility for her advancing needs whether $ control was gained legally (POA), misuse of trust, or undue influence. am I right? the daughter provides no help and I question if she has embezzled some of the money. my father stands to gain 0 financially. They continue to have her sign legal documents she does not know what she signs. Help Please. I intend on filing a police report tomorrow.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
6

Answers

Show:
do we know as of yet what the money is being spent on? Social security would love to know about SS fraud. That money belongs to the patient, not her daughter! What is the daughter doing with the SS income? Get evidence of this if possible--that money should be going directly to the woman who needs it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Its funny if she has legal POA why would mother need to sign anything...i do all the signing for my mom because mom cannot. definately get a diagnosis to make all documents she signs null and void. get it in your hand. go with dad and mil to doctor visit and your dad can ask for the diagnosis letter if they won't give it to you. my mom's neurologist wrote one in 05 and again this year.
Please please be sneaky right now until your ducks are in order.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

yes. do not call the police yet! you have to be sly right now so documents aren't destroyed. But you are right, this is fudiciary (sp) abuse. Dental health is vital and her caregiver, although her husband should be given pay and reimbursed for her care (I would think). My first thought is to communicate with daughter. ex: mom needs xyz will the estate be able to pay for this needed dental work (etc)? send in an email so you have a written response in your hand. Take a deep breath and lets think this through together so you can win in this case.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If money was taken illegally, even by a POA, the police should be involved. You should also call your state abuse prevention hotline. APS may be overworked but this is their job.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree with the above answer. Unfortunately, unless there is evidence of physical abuse to either your stepmom or your father, the police have no power. APS is generally not much help either - Sadly, they are over-worked.

I would start with an elderlaw attorney or a geriatric care manager who will know how to work the system. Yes, it will cost you some out-of-pocket money but you'll probably be able to get it back once things are resolved. I would also offer to attend a medical visit with your father (last minute so that daughter is unaware) and get documentation of her diagnosis. Once you have that, you can prove that anything she signs is null and void.

If daughter has guardianship or conservatorship, depending upon what state step-mom is in, she may be required to file yearly financial statements.

Stepmom is also entitled to her own lawyer and visits from a social worker will also allow your Dad's condition to be monitored. A geriatric case manager is probably the least expensive way to get all this put into place.

My only concern is that daughter will attempt to get in the way so you may need to be sneaky. 50% of caregivers die BEFORE the person they are caring for so for your father's sake, you are right to get involved.

Best wishes,

Shelley Webb, RN
Geriatric Care Manager
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I think the question is not whether your father is being taken advantage of but how to stop it. You are right on every count, and there are agencies to protect one from custodial abuse. Government agencies. Call your county's social services and ask for some help for an elder. They will probably point you in the right direction. The police may not do any more than give advice, warrants etc may aggravate the situation and cause destruction of records. Just start talking to elder abuse government officials and follow their advice. Please keep us advised.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions