My needs are not being met! My mom had a brain aneurysm 4 years ago but since then had numerous setbacks due to infection, negligent care in rehab centers and physical setbacks leaving permanent setbacks. She is no longer able to do anything without assistance. My father, while he walks independently and drives, he has a very rare form of cancer and treatment is not working. I have felt strongly his behavior shows signs of dementia/Alzheimer's/irrationality/hot-headedness and so forth. I am in the home caring for my mother 24/7. I am unable to work due to all of my responsibilities. I have no help from my father or any outside help. I alone dress my mom, change my mom, shower my mom, administer medication or extra water via feeding tube, do mom's hair, brush her teeth, stretch and perform exercises with her, walk her several laps around the house, recreational therapy, crossword puzzles, reading out loud, taking her out and about, coordinating all outpatient PT and doctor's appointments, (more than 100 since 2010) coordinate my father's cancer treatment, diagnostic testing and doctor follow ups, file and manage application for Patient Assistance to take care of a tier 5 drug's co-pay ($2,749.68) deal with a lawsuit brought against us by the nursing home mom was in rehab for, responsible for caring for mom's dentures and hearing aids, I alone do the household cooking, cleaning, wash the dishes, vacuum, laundry pay the bills with parents money and I'm sure I'm skipping some things but I believe you understand that this is a very heavy load for 1 person. During the night I wake to check my mother and see if she needs to be changed, empty the urine bag, she wears a foley catheter, and I turn and reposition her. As a result, I sleep on the couch. I cannot hold a job due to the responsibilities and if I'm gone for any extent of time, literally there is nobody else to take over. My father is very selfish and I truly feel he cannot comprehend what is really going on around him. He is very abusive verbally towards me which is not good for my mother to hear, and he is angry for things he can't comprehend. My mom is 70. I'm 39. I will never be able to work again? Am I not allowed a day off to spend as I choose? I'm not receiving ANY pay for the things I do which go unnoticed anyway. I spend time in the wee hours trying to throw things out because my father is a pack rat! He was just in the hospital for a mini-stroke and while he was in inpatient therapy for a week, I rented a dump truck to clear out some things. Within 2 hours, the 15 yard truck was filled to capacity. We needed 2 of those to trucks to get everything out! All day long on top of everything I do, I clean up after him like a child and listen to him scream at me! If I don't do something it just doesn't get done. I have spoken with the police, 911 and Adult Protective Services and they were a waste of time. I really am trapped and do not appreciate this part of my life. I wish it were just my mom and I and things would be less stressful.
So in a nutshell, just because I am living in my mom and dad's home rent free, do I have rights to respite care or being treated with understanding of everything I have given up and all the money my father is saving? Can I legally have an authority figure step in to make changes?