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You can read our journey in other posts. LO has been in assisted living memory care for one year. Money has run out. Medicaid as not been approved yet for nursing home. We may have to bring lo back home. I know that is not the best situation. I know because we took care of lo for 3 years before placement. What I need to know is if anyone has had to do this. LO has no place to go no other family will help. I know I could take them to the hospital but I have been told it is not like it was where you can refuse to take care of someone, but is that even the right thing to do anyway. Trust me all the memories of taking care of lo for 3 years has not been forgotten. We are panic stricken. Also I have been checking into nursing homes and they have a long waiting list and self-pay patients who are already there get the Medicaid beds first. Any advice will be appreciated. Also lo is on hospice and they will help. I also know that hospice help is limited lo was on hospice one time at home. The place lo is at is very nice and lo has been treated great no complaints that is why we placed them there and we needed a break. I said that to say this the Medicaid facilities that I have looked into are not good. I know all are not bad either. I cannot place my LO into a terrible place however, I do know that caregivers get burned out. We were there and will be there again maybe. Well, at least this time we know what we are getting into. Also I learned that placement is not stress free either different kind of stress especially if lo acts out. Thanks for letting me vent. Pray that we make the right decision.

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If you can see elder law attorney to help you with nursing home application. If you take her to ER then talk to social worker there about placement. It will bide you some time. Taking her home will end up never bringing her back to nursing home. Also , Medicaid probably won’t pay if she comes from home to nursing home. You’d be required to pay out of pocket. You can always transfer her later if she’s not initially in best nursing home. Some accept Medicaid pending. Hugs 🤗
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Are you legal POA for your LO?
If not you are not responsible for their care or placement.
Tell discharge planner at the facility that you can not safely care for them at home and that you are not legally responsible to make decisions on their behalf. (If you are POA you can say that you can not care for them safely)
The facility can not release them to home if they will not be safe.
Chances are the facility will find some way to get them to the Hospital and then refuse to have them sent back.
It sounds like then that the Court will have to appoint a Guardian.
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When did you file for Medicaid? A facility may not take your LO until Medicaid is approved.

My Mom had 20k when I placed her in LTC. I applied for Medicaid in April, Mom private paid gor May and June. June I proved she was paid down and all info needed was given and Medicaid started in July. My State only gives 90 days to spend down, provide info and have a place set up.
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No one can force you to be a caregiver. Your LO has not been living with you for 3 years therefore your home is not their legal residence. They can't force a tenant upon you. If you are not your LO's PoA then you get social services involved, as has been suggested. Look into faith-based facilities. They usually accept Medicaid and can often have better care because they see it as a mission.
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Make sure the AL/MC knows you cannot take them home. They can't just dump them on the doorstep. Once back home it is on you to find someplace that will take them. Make their social workers get involved finding another place or getting Medicaid onboard. You may have to place them out of the immediate area and wait for a bed to open up to bring them closer but do what you must.
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JoAnn29 May 18, 2025
AL/MCs are under no obligation to find OPs LO a place that takes Medicaid. Its a private residence, just like renting an apartment, just offers help. The ones in my area do not have Social Workers. One lost its Medicaid standing years ago. (Since been bought out) The family members had to scramble to find other facilities.
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