How can I adjust my grandmother who is like a second mom to me (with dementia) to living with me?

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She has a home in Illinois, 35 miles away from here, she can no longer stay alone, she cant grasp it, not only she cant remember asking & getting an answer within mins of the last question, I am all alone in this, she has a son which isnt no help for me at all, another ladie had been stayin with her at her home, and I get her to come here on the weekends. The Ladie has had major heart issues in past, and recently just got out of hospital from surgery on clots by her stint, I just need some guidance in any body out there has any advice for me. God blessed me with a daughter 3 years ago, all my live no suppose to happen, she is my world, and her Great Granddaughter, at times she doesnt care how she acts, but doesn't know she has, please anybody to help on some advice would be so greatly appreciated...

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Pers... I understand your love for your grandmother, especially as you say she's like a 2nd mother to you. Careful though. If she is very gone in her comprehension, you may not be doing her, or you and your loved ones any favors by keeping her, although it is very brave of you. Maybe you are keeping her until her full time caretaker can recoup and she'll be going back to her own home?

But if that's not the case, you might want to look into assisted living situations nearby you, or even a nice nursing home in the area if she's beyond assisted living? What you don't want to do is to find that love of your dear grandmother turning into resentment as she becomes increasingly dependent. Taking care of an active 3 yr old is a full time job... taking care of a dementia patient is also a full time job. Can you really take on two full time jobs?

Maybe the caretaker, when healthier, can work with your mom from your home? Just a thought... you might be able to do this with daily help.
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BlessedMommy2 - Your grandmother is confused to be living in a new place. Perseverance is right. Tell her this is her home now.

You are a good person to take care of her, but remember, her life is coming to an end. Be sure you are not hurting your daughter or yourself. Maybe you can't make her happy, but you can tell her that you love her and will keep her safe.

What problems are you having? Is it just that she is unhappy? Does she sleep at night? Is she in pain? Does she do dangerous things like turning on the stove?
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Tell your grandmother that your home is now her home. Are you selling her house? Have you moved her prized possessions into the room in your house where she is staying to make it more familiar to her? What is your plan for her belongings and house?
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You are the grandaughter - why isn't your Mom or Dad involved in her care?
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She is not left alone at anytime, I have had her with me in my home for 2 weeks now, the other caregiver is recovering from a surgery, She wants to be home where she lives, I tell her she can not stay alone but she doesnt comprehend that she cant, she will not accept this, and her son does not help me at all
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You need to have a long term strategy in place for her. The time will come when she will no longer be able to live by herself.
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No she is not, she wants to be home, I have made all adjustments for her, she has the computer on the kitchen table for her game, I make her coffee, tea, give meds and meals, she doesnt like to eat, she has implants and there is nothing to do, she cant make it through the surgery for removal, she is capable to do all things if she wanted to... She was a hair dresser for 40+ yrs, she has let alll go and Im very sad watching this and wanting to make her happy wherever she goes
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What type of help or advice do you need? Is your grandma moving into your house?
Is your grandma bedridden? In a wheelchair? Able to walk/dress/bathe herself?

Through medicare, your grandma can get various support.
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