How do I address the agency's staff manager to let her know that I expect all the aides to follow the directives book?

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My parent has a caregiver aides assisting her 8 hours each day. Different aides, depending on the day of the week. One aide is considered the "manager" to direct the care plan. She has the most consistent shift of mornings, M-F. She writes specific notes to the others regarding med distribution, tasks to do, and she is the only one to do the shopping/handling of my parent's money expenditures. When my parent wants something "now" she is asking the others to get it for her and will offer her credit card to get it from the store. Some are not following the directives and purchases have been made that are questionable. The main aide has discussed her concerns with me regarding questionable purchases and the med distribution protocol. She has discussed her concerns with the staff manager and is now feeling as if she is on "the outs" with her company. I am concerned for her. How do I address the agency's staff manager to let her know that I expect all the aides to follow the directives book. The client, my parent, has strong indications of dementia fueled by a craving to get alcohol, or a med from the store that is not in her med protocol. When I spoke with her she claimed she does not recall asking. It is making the main care-aide look bad. And, personally I am not happy with the lack of consistency demonstrated by the other aides. What are my rights to express my concern? I live several states away. My parent's dementia behavior has escalated in the past 6 months. I have numerous requests to nursing homes for a placement -- still waiting. Petitioning for guardianship is not feasible -- too expensive. Whom can I ask in the state of KY to advocate for my concerns? How do I address my concerns with the agency in the meantime? Thank you.

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Go to adult social services and explain it to them. They will get involved and go in and see what's going on.
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Since OP lives out of state, she can't have a sit down. She indicates her parent lives in KY. That leaves contacting the actual managing party at the agency to discuss this. Perhaps they can't keep reliable employees? If that is the case, perhaps trying another agency. Does mom have any sort of case/social worker (my mom has one for what benefits she does qualify for *not Medicaid* & she will oversee things like this.) If mom can be home alone for 16 hours a day, is she even eligible for nursing home care?
The frustration of trying to manage these things from afar is so difficult. Have you talked to the county Eldercare folks? (Assuming all counties have these since they decide who gets what.)
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So, when we boil this down...

You don't think your parent should drink alcohol. Your parent begs to differ. One aide realises that you are paying the piper. The other aides prefer a quiet life with their actual client.

Well. If your parent is competent enough to live in her own home alone for 16 hours of the day, your parent is competent to know whether or not she wants a glass of sherry before her dinner.

If she's drinking excessively, enough to become a falls risk or to harm her health, then it's a safeguarding issue which you can take up with the agency.
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Go to the top of command.
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As long as your parent is competent to make decisions, the aides do not have to follow your directives book, your parent overrides you...if they ask for it, they get it. Also, you should not consider one aide the "manager" to direct the care plan, it will only cause problems with the other staff. Your concerns about aides should be addressed to the employer and not someone arbitrarily called a manager by you because the manager has no authority in reality. Also, you should be paying a nurse to do medications, an aide cannot do anything except a med reminder.
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I wish you well and hope you do not live in New York State, where few people care what happens to the elderly except for our use as feeder fish to lazy people who can't find any other job. In fairness, aides are very underpaid and put far too many hours on the job. Our journey started with questionable amounts of money. I never, ever, left a credit card. But cash can dissappear too. A "lost " receipt, a claim that you only gave me one twenty, when we were sure there were two.....over the period of a year it really adds up. Sit downs with managers, district managers (with several family members present), resulted in promises to look into it, but no changes except that we kept all cash and medications in a lock box. Things escalated to abuse and neglect. I was advised to document names, incidents and even photos. The result is we were informed that as of the first of the year we would no longer receive services, because in spite of their best efforts they could not find a suitable match for us. So, I guess the final outcome is either put up with serious problems or have no service. It does have a couple of advantages, we do not have to watch someone sleep in our chair all day long and we don't have to provide the charger for their cell phones. A really sad state of affairs, but if I had known how it would end, I mighthave done what many people do, let them work for an hour, then sign their paper saying they worked the full 8 hours. Either way the whole system here, at least, is a farce. This is a society which no longer values honesty or truth.
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Maybe a sit down with the agency is a good idea. Make sure they realize that the main aide is doing her job but the other shifts don't seem to follow the rules. Since ur Mom is showing signs of Dementia, I wouldn't leave credit cards or checks around the house. I would also change the credit card number. Not everyone is honest.
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