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I take care of my ex mil (we consider each other mom and daughter) and my ex husband is the POA. He is in the hospital and in very bad health. I've asked him to add me to the POA in case something happened to him, but he hasn't or won't do it. Gran wants to do it because she actually trusts me more than him, but we don't know how to get it done. the ex has surgery on his leg any day now, major surgery, and will be in the hospital for several months.

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Only your mother-in-law can add you as POA for her. A POA does not have the legal authority to add another person as POA on another's behalf. You say it is your mother-in-law, but call her Gran. You need to take Gran to a lawyer to draft up a new POA document.
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Unless it's a irrevocable POA a new POA naming you, and usually a back up will void the current one.
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yes, my kids call her gran, but her name is Maggie. I'm glad to learn this. thanks so much.
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