We have family or friends visiting practically every day for 2.5 months now. She is agreeing to go to some activities but when the time comes, she refuses to go. She leaves her room for meals and the hairdresser lady and that's about it. Often when we arrive at her room for a visit, she is laying in bed, half asleep. Often she will get up and then engage in conversation - stating she "wants to go home". This is NOT an option and I wish I could help her to be more accepting of her situation. For years we tried to get Mom to look for a single floor apartment for when this day would ultimately come. She refused to move on this until now, it is not an option.

She has some dementia so this compounds the whole situation.


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My mother-in-law also has dementia and was basically forced into asst living about a year after my father-in-law died, and she fell and broke her hip. She was NOT happy, but eventually she's stopped crying about 'going home'. She also is not a social person. She told me years ago that all she needed was her family, not friends. Now she's paying the price I'm afraid by only having us to entertain her. At first she didn't leave her room except to eat, and walk with the walker that I blinged up for her. Now she does sit and listen to music and other people talking though. One of the other problems she has is that she is legally blind because of macular degeneration. She can't see peoples faces so she doesn't recognize anyone except the ladies at her table. Plus now with the memory of a gnat, she couldn't remember them anyway. Since I'm the one that spends most of the time with her, I had to start leaving her alone for a few days at a time. What was the point of her venturing out of her little hidey hole if she knew I was going to be there to take her out constantly? She and I do spend two or three days a week together though, which means the whole day usually. But if I can't get over there for whatever reason, she makes the effort to get out of her room because she knows she HAS to. Also, I talked to the activities director about making sure someone personally invited/escorted her to activities, which has helped. It's a terrible thing to have to be yanked out of the house she lived in for 50 years. I get it.
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