My DH and I have been married 52 years and he is in the beginning stages of dementia. He also has severe Macular Degeneration and his activities are very limited because of this. He needs to sit right in front of the tv and still can't see faces or details, but spends much of his day there. Lately, he has gotten some audio books but they put him to sleep unless there is a particularly good book. He is very happy for this distraction. He tries to do everything, seeing how much I have had to take over, and while this is usually more of a pain for me then anything, I can see he has a need to help and feel productive. Helping with dinner or breakfast leaves me with such a long clean-up; I truly wish he wouldn't help, but can't say no.
He can no longer find his way around the audio books and "loses them" every 5 minutes and I have to help him find them again. He can barely work the tv remote but insists on mowing the lawn still, even though every year we have to get new mower blades because they are ruined from all the things he runs over. He would not give up driving until he had an accident right on our road and still insists on driving his golf cart down our country road because it gives him some freedom. He has much more clarity in the bright sunshine but I know it is dangerous for him to do. I have had to do all the driving for several years now.
I have tried to think of new activities and offered to take him to the local senior center, but he refuses. I doubt he could do much there either; we have tried playing cards or games at home and even the big ones are too small. He can't follow people to try exercises. We live in the country and are pretty isolated; I can see he has such a need to be with people because talking is one of the few things he is still good at. Luckily some of our old friends take him for lunch and even let him play bocci ball with them while they use themselves to give him an idea where to throw the balls.
Does anyone have any other ideas on what he could do to feel useful? He gets so discouraged at sitting in front of the tv all day, especially during these long winters inside. He is asking for a dog but he is very unsteady and I am afraid he will fall when walking it. A dog is not something I feel willing to take on now either, so my response so far has been a no.
I do want to make these last years with him happy and wonder if I am not thinking of everything that might be possible. Any suggestions would be great.
There are Animal Shelters that need volunteers. When I was volunteering at our local one I walked dogs in an enclosed pen. But they also needed people to "play" with the cats so that they are used to contact with people.
I still think he would get something out of going to an Adult Day Program a few days a week. If nothing else to talk to some of the others. I am sure there are activities that he could participate in.