She has parkinson's and dementia. About a year ago I took over as acting trustee for my grandma. I am her DPOA for Medical and Financial. She has a very limited network of support, most of which is paid for. As her physical and mental health is declining I would like to move her in with me. We have talked over the years about this, and she has always been determined not to leave sunny California. I fully understand this is her “home” and I respect that, and if I could move there I would. Can I legally move her out of state if she does not agree?

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I don't know how you would move her, if she isn't in agreement. My husband's grandmother needed full time care and they moved her from IL. to AZ. She went down hill fast, due the the change in environment. Then, they had to move her back to IL. and she was delirious by then.

Please see if people know of anyone that has made a successful transition, like you are proposing, before doing something drastic. It sounds like she will need 24/7 care, soon.
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Depends on the type DPOA for medical decisions you have and if doctor has to declare her incompetent in order for you to have FULL owner for medical decisions. If she refuses and you don't have full POA power, then "no" you can't legally go against her wishes even if it is easiest for you and in her best interest.

Have you considered getting in home care for her? Would she consider moving to AL or memory care facility in her locale? Yes, it would exhaust her estate but legally, she can use up her estate on her care and support services in her home or hometown; especially if she still can make some decisions on her own despite dementia.

There are some legal nuances to a DPOA when you are moving a person against their will, so check with her attorney and an attorney in your area.

Consult with her dr and see what her prognosis is with her dementia. If you move her in with you, are you prepared for the long term care needed as her disease progresses? How about your family, do they understand the commitment, loss of privacy and sharing in her care that will be required? How about mom, her feelings, if she is resistant to the move, the potential daily unhappiness, sullenness, loss of control she will feel if forced to move --or is she generally adaptable such that this will be a happy move for her?

Will you have support for her care when you want to go on vacations or go to kids games, or out with friends for an evening? Can mom be left alone? For how long? Will she get confused in new surroundings? Can your house be made safe for her?

Just some food for thought. This website is a wealth of info and firsthand experiences of the challenges from those who have made the same decisions you are about to make.

Good luck to you and mom and hope whatever choices you decide, it works out for all of you.
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