I'm being accused of stealing/ misusing my granny's money. Any advice?

You need receipts for EVERY THING you are doing for her with her money. Even if its a bottle of coke..get a receipt. My mom has been gone over a year now and I am still keeping her receipts. Who ever is accusing you asked them for proof. A lot of time jealousy is the issue. Main thing is cover your butt!

I forgot to add, be extremely careful on the person that is the medical power of attorney. That person has the ability to end the life of the elderly, at least according to our experience, also can take charge of all assets, ignoring will/etc.

Because of what my sister and I have been through, someone in your family could be setting you up for stealing assets or ending elderly lives. Be sure and document your side of the accusations. I would be looking for a good, honest, lawyer which may be very difficult to find. I live in La and my non-blood relative used State office to end both of my parent's lives in order to steal assets. She got away with it. My lawyers worked for the other side's lawyer, as stated to me by my brother.

Ho well have you kept records, receipts, etc? Who is accusing you ? It sounds like you have been a loving, & caring through it all. How legal is your POA? Did you consult an attorney? Answer these questions, and you should be able do defend yourself.

WOW- this is confusing.....You have POA? Is it in writing/thru a lawyer or what? As others have stated, you better have receipts b.c if asked for them , you will need to provide a statement/receipts for all monies spent. Did your grandmother state she will pay you for your service? If not, you just can't take the money you think you deserve for doing those things for her....I have the same issue with my mom's POA and he has not provided me with statements of the $$$ he spent. We are to receive that info annually and we havent so now it is time to go to court. You can lose your POA if you dont follow the law.

hotshot79: Your post is very confusing. Kindly clarify.

hotshot: are you filing the taxes yourself or is an accountant doing them? In addition to income taxes, there are also Social Security and Medicare taxes, federal and state unemployment taxes. possibly state income and/or disability taxes, and you should have workman's comp as well.

In addition to what's been said here, I must add that if you happen to be a co-owner on the account in question, then there's nothing anyone can do as long as the owner put you on as co-owner when they were well. The only thing that can change that is if someone like a lawyer for instance, takes guardianship of that person and takes over everything. If you're co-owner on the account, then you have free access to it. You can access the funds as co-owner as long as there some kind of written proof giving you access to that account. As long as you kept records and receipts proving where all of the money has gone, then you really shouldn't worry.

In addition to all of the other tips, I should say that what's in your favor is if this lady happened to put you on her account as co-owner when she was doing better. If you happen to be a co-owner of the bank account, there's really not much anyone can do about it unless a lawyer happens to take custody of this person and kick you off of the account. This is what happened when a lawyer in our town took custody of my surrogate dad because I was just not in a position to do it myself. There's really not much I can do now that she took over everything, and a very good thing I didn't have any of my own funds in that account at the time because I would've had to go to that guardian to get them back. The reason why dad originally put me on his account when he was doing better years ago it's because I was struggling financially to the point that I was starting to do without what I needed. That's when dad started stepping up to the plate and helping me, which really helped a lot. I mean, what father wouldn't want to help his daughter? He just couldn't see me doing without necessities for living out of a food bank or other charity. You had no one else but me who could drive across town for the purpose of running errands, but I wouldn't drive very much if my money was low. At some point, dad decided it was time to put me as co-owner on his account since he made far more than I do. He didn't own a house or anything else, which is why he was in a better position than I was. Sometimes our elders do step up to help us before their health ever has a chance to decline, and often when they are still of sound mind. When dad got to the point of where he needed more help than I was able to give him, that's when I had to turn for help. That's when things changed, but I sure enjoyed a better life when dad was able to provide a few things here and there to help me along when he was able. As long as your love one gave some type of written consent for you to use the account, there's really nothing anyone can do unless someone takes guardianship and takes over that person's affairs. The only thing you must worry about is if your love one happens to develop dementia. That's when you're going to have to start being more careful with the money that you're handling. When our loved ones developed dementia, we may sometimes have to explain something over and over again and hope I get it. You can feel like a broken record if this happens, and it's very frustrating. This can actually cause burn out very quickly because you feel like a fuse burning at both ends. You don't have to let yourself burn out, help is available if you reach out. No matter what the situation is, you can ask for help, especially in this particular type of situation. If you've never handle this kind of situation before, it can actually be hard to find the right people who can help you. If this happens, you should never ever give up, but you should be all the more persistent until someone comes along.

Akaheba, I was referring to a POA often being used by someone to mean either a Durable Power of Attorney (for legal and financial issues) as well as a Living Will/Advanced Directive, which is for medical issues. Sometimes people use them interchangeably.

If another family member was proxy under the Living Will, there might possibly be disagreement at such time as it needed to be used. Then that family member could address your caregiving and challenge what you've done, in addition to what you've been paid.

You say that no family member would ever try to cause trouble. That's great! But if you read some other posts, you'll find that this frequently can be the case, so I was just trying to think ahead for options that you might need to address.

Garden Artist -
I didn't see your post before I posted my other question. First, thank you very much for taking the time to answer. Second, I am not sure what you mean in your 3rd paragraph about proxy/DPOA. So maybe I do need a lawyer. I do know that it is just me and my sister and she is 100% in agreement and has written a letter to say so. There would never be any family trying to cause trouble for me in any way, ever. The only thing I'm worried about is the Medicaid compliance issue....whether they will give me trouble should I need to apply for mom to get into a nursing home. I'm hoping what I'm doing as far as the EIN/claiming on taxes is enough and I don't have to bother with seeing a lawyer.

Pamstegma,
This is Akaheba -- Do you know if what I'm doing as far as claiming what mom pays me as wages on my tax return and mom using the EIN# to report is what I need to do to be MediCaid compliant if mom ever needs a nursing home? I am her POA as well as have a caregiver's agreement. Her income is almost, but not quite, enough to pay for a nursing home that accepts patients with dementia (about 500 short) so we'd have to apply for Medicaid for help. Just don't want to run into any problems like the above poster....being accused of misusing funds and then not being able to get her into a nursing home if she needs one. TIA

Akaheba, it isn't unusual for someone to start this kind of post, raising a lot of issues that need to be explained, but never returning to explain them. We'll probably never know what the real situation is, and I doubt if the poster will return.

As to your situation, it seems to me you've got all the bases covered, but just clarify a few issues:

When you say that you're POA and have a caregiving contract, are you saying that you're named as proxy in a DPOA, but that the contract covers both legal, financial and caregiving responsibilities? Has your mother also executed a Living Will/Advanced Directive? If not, she should.

Is the contract witnessed by at least 2 parties, contains an acknowledgement that your mother executed the same of her own free act and deed (there's more to an acknowledgment but basically that's the jist of it), and is notarized by a notary with a valid commission (not having expired)?

Are there any other heirs beside you and your sister? If so, that probably would be where any challenge could arise.

But if you're concerned about Medicaid, it seems like you've taken the right steps although I'm not as knowledgeable about Medicaid as others here.

You're wise to address these issues now.

Hotshot, I sympathize with you. Medicaid on the other hand will look to see if the wages were reported on an Employer ID Number, as Akaheba said. If the wages were just checks written, with no withholding or W-2 form or 1099 form, then Medicaid will insist it was a gift and assess a penalty waiting period.
If these are relatives harassing you, which is quite common, find a lawyer to send them a "cease and desist" letter to get them off your back. Basically the letter will tell them to stop accusations or be sued for defamation. It works.

I hope the person who originally posted this comes back and clarifies things, such as the type of contract/POA she actually has, which wasn't very clear. Also, this is making me nervous about my own situation where I am mom's POA and also have a caregiver's contract signed a few years ago. I also have a letter from my sister stating she agrees with this contract, so there would never be any family pushback. I haven't seen a lawyer, but I have a tax person who advised me to get mom an EIN# (which I did) and we claim what mom pays me on her tax return (which isn't a lot) and then of course I claim it as income on my tax return. Is this enough to keep me from later being "accused" of misusing her money should she ever need a nursing home? This kind of thing makes me want to NOT be a caregiver at all frankly.

My brother who my father gave POA too just went through something that could be a lesson for you. My step-sister was taking care of my Dad and her mother (my step mother) for years. D hired her best friend to be Dad's companion. I don't think anything was documented, but when Dad gave my brother POA and was in charge of Dad's money, bro discovered D and her friend were taking thousands of dollars from my father. Bro saw my father's checkbook. D tried to wrestle back POA back from bro. Finally, D got my father so confused and upset there was a yelling match at Dad's residence and Elderly Protective Services were called in.

The EPS gave my bro the reins and now D can't see my Dad at all because she is accused of elder abuse. I think my bro did the right thing. He has plenty of money himself and wouldn't try to swindle our father. He has a lawyer and has done all the legal things right.
Dad has dementia now and we are getting him to assisted living this weekend hoping he'll calm down and have some happy times left.

Moral of story: if you don't bother to document things and have a lawyer you can encounter trouble. D didn't even bother to learn the laws.

Document, document, document. Show all receipts and do not comingle the funds.

I hope that you've kept receipts for what's been purchased. Even with a signed DPOA, sometimes things have to be proven, especially if the family turns on you. You weren't clear about who is accusing you, so like the others on this thread, I'd have to ask for clarification.

If your agreement with your granny was a legal document, that should be very helpful in proving your cause. We can hope that they - whoever they are - are just blustering now that Granny's house will go up for sale. They need to know that the money from the house will go to Granny's care.

Keep time sheets and receipts for everything.
Good luck. Please update us when you can.
Carol

Are these people threatening legal action or just ranting?

I know exactly how much it takes to do the things you have done for granny .Everyone else just sits back and complains but won't give a helping hand everything that your doing will be alright

I ask as well: exactly who is making the theft accusations? And what if anything are they threatening to do?

Yes, lots of questions here. Sounds like you had some sort of written agreement with granny which wasn't blessed by a lawyer or the state. If you have not kept good financial records off all expenditures of her money this could get really bad for you.

hotshot, sorry your question got lost in the shuffle. We need more information. Who is accusing you of stealing your grandmother's money? What do you mean "we don't have the usual everyday poa or caregiver contract"? In the beginning of your post you said you had POA and contract. I am just confused. Please verify.

Is your Grandmother paying from her own funds for Assisted Living, or is she in a nursing home with Medicaid paying for her care?