I'm being accused of stealing/ misusing my granny's money. Any advice?

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Im in tears- DPOA for my Granny and also caregiver w/compensation. We've an agreement for years. My POA's and contract with my Grandmother are very specific. As for what my abilities are, for what specific powers she to granted me and also for compensations or reimbursements etc Granny and I both felt before, during and after the contracts being signed that things were fine and also they were legal. Now after 4 years of having POA Ive giving up my home, moved to where I could take care of my Granny, I then supervised her in home caregivers and I worked for her personally as a caregiver and for duties as POA. After the in home care couldn't be afforded I placed her in a seemingly very nice assisted living. Started cleaning, more repairing than ever thought needed and am clearing out her home and put it up for sale. Ive killed myself caring for her and taking care of her MANY affairs, and so have my fiancé and many of our friends. Now Im being accused of stealing her $ and or misusing it. Im between fury and tears. How the heck do these people think things get paid for and things get done?? Anyone else would have charged her much much more than me, my fiancé and anyone else who's been paid for doing all of it. Its called services rendered. We don't have the usual everyday poa or caregiver contract. All the things they say im doing wrong Im not. They are in black and white , agreed on and signed together yeeeears ago. Example: I paid 3 workers for helping with cleaning, repairs, mowing, moving items, hauling it all to storage etc, bought blinds/curtains, rented carpet cleaner and cleaning supplies, bought granny some clothes, snacks/food and her hair to get done and paid for it all out of my pocket cash, and kept a tally/documentation of it, then I reimbursed myself for that later on, with her $. How can that be stealing or misusing it?? HEEELLLP!!

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I hope that you've kept receipts for what's been purchased. Even with a signed DPOA, sometimes things have to be proven, especially if the family turns on you. You weren't clear about who is accusing you, so like the others on this thread, I'd have to ask for clarification.

If your agreement with your granny was a legal document, that should be very helpful in proving your cause. We can hope that they - whoever they are - are just blustering now that Granny's house will go up for sale. They need to know that the money from the house will go to Granny's care.

Keep time sheets and receipts for everything.
Good luck. Please update us when you can.
Carol
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Akaheba, it isn't unusual for someone to start this kind of post, raising a lot of issues that need to be explained, but never returning to explain them. We'll probably never know what the real situation is, and I doubt if the poster will return.

As to your situation, it seems to me you've got all the bases covered, but just clarify a few issues:

When you say that you're POA and have a caregiving contract, are you saying that you're named as proxy in a DPOA, but that the contract covers both legal, financial and caregiving responsibilities? Has your mother also executed a Living Will/Advanced Directive? If not, she should.

Is the contract witnessed by at least 2 parties, contains an acknowledgement that your mother executed the same of her own free act and deed (there's more to an acknowledgment but basically that's the jist of it), and is notarized by a notary with a valid commission (not having expired)?

Are there any other heirs beside you and your sister? If so, that probably would be where any challenge could arise.

But if you're concerned about Medicaid, it seems like you've taken the right steps although I'm not as knowledgeable about Medicaid as others here.

You're wise to address these issues now.
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hotshot, sorry your question got lost in the shuffle. We need more information. Who is accusing you of stealing your grandmother's money? What do you mean "we don't have the usual everyday poa or caregiver contract"? In the beginning of your post you said you had POA and contract. I am just confused. Please verify.

Is your Grandmother paying from her own funds for Assisted Living, or is she in a nursing home with Medicaid paying for her care?
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Yes, lots of questions here. Sounds like you had some sort of written agreement with granny which wasn't blessed by a lawyer or the state. If you have not kept good financial records off all expenditures of her money this could get really bad for you.
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I ask as well: exactly who is making the theft accusations? And what if anything are they threatening to do?
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Document, document, document. Show all receipts and do not comingle the funds.
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I hope the person who originally posted this comes back and clarifies things, such as the type of contract/POA she actually has, which wasn't very clear. Also, this is making me nervous about my own situation where I am mom's POA and also have a caregiver's contract signed a few years ago. I also have a letter from my sister stating she agrees with this contract, so there would never be any family pushback. I haven't seen a lawyer, but I have a tax person who advised me to get mom an EIN# (which I did) and we claim what mom pays me on her tax return (which isn't a lot) and then of course I claim it as income on my tax return. Is this enough to keep me from later being "accused" of misusing her money should she ever need a nursing home? This kind of thing makes me want to NOT be a caregiver at all frankly.
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Hotshot, I sympathize with you. Medicaid on the other hand will look to see if the wages were reported on an Employer ID Number, as Akaheba said. If the wages were just checks written, with no withholding or W-2 form or 1099 form, then Medicaid will insist it was a gift and assess a penalty waiting period.
If these are relatives harassing you, which is quite common, find a lawyer to send them a "cease and desist" letter to get them off your back. Basically the letter will tell them to stop accusations or be sued for defamation. It works.
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Akaheba, I was referring to a POA often being used by someone to mean either a Durable Power of Attorney (for legal and financial issues) as well as a Living Will/Advanced Directive, which is for medical issues. Sometimes people use them interchangeably.

If another family member was proxy under the Living Will, there might possibly be disagreement at such time as it needed to be used. Then that family member could address your caregiving and challenge what you've done, in addition to what you've been paid.

You say that no family member would ever try to cause trouble. That's great! But if you read some other posts, you'll find that this frequently can be the case, so I was just trying to think ahead for options that you might need to address.
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In addition to all of the other tips, I should say that what's in your favor is if this lady happened to put you on her account as co-owner when she was doing better. If you happen to be a co-owner of the bank account, there's really not much anyone can do about it unless a lawyer happens to take custody of this person and kick you off of the account. This is what happened when a lawyer in our town took custody of my surrogate dad because I was just not in a position to do it myself. There's really not much I can do now that she took over everything, and a very good thing I didn't have any of my own funds in that account at the time because I would've had to go to that guardian to get them back. The reason why dad originally put me on his account when he was doing better years ago it's because I was struggling financially to the point that I was starting to do without what I needed. That's when dad started stepping up to the plate and helping me, which really helped a lot. I mean, what father wouldn't want to help his daughter? He just couldn't see me doing without necessities for living out of a food bank or other charity. You had no one else but me who could drive across town for the purpose of running errands, but I wouldn't drive very much if my money was low. At some point, dad decided it was time to put me as co-owner on his account since he made far more than I do. He didn't own a house or anything else, which is why he was in a better position than I was. Sometimes our elders do step up to help us before their health ever has a chance to decline, and often when they are still of sound mind. When dad got to the point of where he needed more help than I was able to give him, that's when I had to turn for help. That's when things changed, but I sure enjoyed a better life when dad was able to provide a few things here and there to help me along when he was able. As long as your love one gave some type of written consent for you to use the account, there's really nothing anyone can do unless someone takes guardianship and takes over that person's affairs. The only thing you must worry about is if your love one happens to develop dementia. That's when you're going to have to start being more careful with the money that you're handling. When our loved ones developed dementia, we may sometimes have to explain something over and over again and hope I get it. You can feel like a broken record if this happens, and it's very frustrating. This can actually cause burn out very quickly because you feel like a fuse burning at both ends. You don't have to let yourself burn out, help is available if you reach out. No matter what the situation is, you can ask for help, especially in this particular type of situation. If you've never handle this kind of situation before, it can actually be hard to find the right people who can help you. If this happens, you should never ever give up, but you should be all the more persistent until someone comes along.
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