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I've been Mom's sole caregiver for more than a decade. I have 2 siblings who have never helped. I have given up everything to care for Mom--my Boyfriend, my home, career, etc. I do it because I love her. . She has dementia, and asked to go several places to have experiences while she can still fully enjoy them. I took her to see her brother, watch her niece graduate from med school, and to visit the place where she was born. What a time she had! I found out so much about her I never knew. She knew of several lucrative opportunities I turned down to care for her. The other 2 kids objected because she has gifted me money. Though I was POA, they picked her up one day, said they were taking her to lunch, took her to a doctor (not hers of 30 years), had her declared incompetent and had my brother appointed temporary guardianship. They said she was being taken good care of and left her in my care, but now I'm going to have to justify every penny I've spent for years. I've been so busy taking care of Mom 24/7; a house that's having all kinds of problems, and trying to keep my health and sanity from going completely downhill, I don't have time to keep track of every expenditure. I keep receipts like any normal person, but don't have receipt for every lunch we've had. The sibs say I don't deserve anything because I live rent free, therefore I'm stealing. My mom says she's generous with me because I gave up the years where I'd making the most income up to care for her. Can someone share who has had a similar experience

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Greed. Pure and simple. Have never gotten any help from the sibs. I wasn't notified of anything. In fact , they took her to a doctor not her own to have her declared incompetent; not dispensing meds, making sure she was off and confused. Then, they filed a motion to suppress me getting any info on the case until a hearing at a later date. This, of course, was done late on a Thursday, and the court visitor didn't notify me until late Friday. Seized our joint bank account, so I couldn't get funds to get a lawyer. Now, with this declaration and Mom's disease progressing, she's not going to be able to corroborate what went on.
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Oh boy, can I ever. First, even Medicaid in most states will permit payment to a child caregiver up to the amount that an agency would charge, in my area, about 10,000.00 a month. Free rent?! Here too! 24/7 care for a parent for the cost of room and board. The siblings that do this are concerned about inheritance, that is it! Only a court can declare Mom incompetent. Though evidence from a doctor would be required in support. Were you notified of the guardianship process when sibs went through the legal process? Were you shown court papers? If POA was changed by sibs by taking Mom to sign it, that is conaisered "undue influence" and against the law.

It is very important to keep good accounting records to back up the expenditures. Though that may not help your sibs to understand. It didn't in my case. This battle has been fought for more than three years now. Some dysfunctional familes, and some not so dyfunctional have to go through this. It is nothing but greed!
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