Can I be accused of elderly abuse if I'm not a caregiver?

This child's grandmother raised her well in that she knew inherently she was wrong to call her GM "stupid". Yes her issue is she is worried about being charged with elder abuse but realized what she did was very wrong. Have none of us used poor judgement or lack control of our words in our lives?
This 18 y/o is a child. We don't know her circumstances.
Yes what she did was terrible and let's hope it doesn't happen again.
I hope her grandma forgives her & if GM can do so, let's hope the 18 y/o learned a lesson and allow her to move on.

My PCP is required to ask 'Do you feel safe at home?" at every appointment. Staff could interpret your comment as a red flag and follow their protocol. It's best not to utter all your thoughts.

Any poor treatment of children and elderly must be reported by certain professions, a dentist office being a good example of that. First, if you have a car to drive to and from the boyfriend and you seem to consider yourself quite the adult, why didn't you go by yourself? Second, stressed or not, where is the respect your Grandmother deserves just for being your Grandmother but most important the person who raised you. So yes verbal abuse from anyone is elder abuse. I think you need to find better coping skills because calling people names is very childish and something you should not be doing at the age of 18. Name calling is what small children and bullies do. It doesn't matter that your brother passed away. So instead of working about jail, go find yourself an anger management class, find a church where you can learn to cope without being abusive, and if you can't show respect to the elders you are related to then go get your own apartment and pay all of your own bills. You seem proud that you clean your room...try helping your gm clean the whole house. You said this poor woman raised you and is the caretaker of her adult son. Did it occur to you that this is not the life and elderly person would choose? Stop thinking of only yourself, apologize to gm, help her out more, and be a person who shows respect to those who kept you out of the foster care system.

I'm thinking there is more to the story...

I sure can see a problem here - the way it works is that after a person reaches a certain age they are "vulnerable" and you risk sanctions if you say anything that might be considered rude, no matter how understandable. But I guess you don't get this protection simply because you are not "vulnerable"? All human beings are "vulnerable" in various ways and no one should be abused. But let's be reasonable here- if everyone who lost their temper was in jail, who would cook dinner?

I believe when we are under stress overwhelmed, and an elder pushes the right button, we can explode. It's human nature.

My explosion was any time my 90+ year old Dad would say he was going to start driving again..... NOOOOO.... so we went around and around about how dangerous this was, and that how he could lose his house and all his savings if he was the cause of a serious accident. I could feel my voice getting higher and higher. I was so stressed I was shaking.

Then there were times when my Dad had a serious illness and Mom didn't like that there was this recliner in Dad's hospital room, she wanted it moved out. I explained to her this was for Dad so he could sit up during the day. She still wanted it moved. I was already stressed due to the situation and I said "Mom, this isn't about you".

All my life I never raised my voice or even had a bad row with my parents.... it didn't start until they become so elderly, refused to move from that unsafe house [stairs], refused to have caregivers, refused to have cleaning crews, etc. When you lose a lot of sleep due to an elder, it isn't easy to think straight.

You are still in high school so discuss it with your school councillor.
It was certainly rude and grandma should receive an apology, but It is questionable whether or not she is a vulnerable adult. She is certianly elderly and lives with your uncle who is brain damaged and takes care of her own business.
granma was certainly stupid in giving you directions that were confusing and could have endangered you both.
You mentioned that you had just recieved your permit so I assume you still need a licensed adult to ride with you.
Gosh if anyone heard my husband he would spend the rest of his life in jail.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop worrying and get ready for the school year you are a responsible caring adult.

Maybe get your own place and start living your own life that's what I would do

Too much of a load for an 18yr old
This kind of stress is too much for me at 55 ! I have not had outbursts ever with my dad but that doesn't mean I don't want to... I am on the edge of it though and recognized it so yesterday I gave up being his POA.
My husband is taking over .

I agree with BarbBrooklyn, at 18 you are on the cusp of adulthood, and it is time you learn the difference between acceptable childish outbursts and decent adult restraint. When I see people having temper tantrums out in public, especially when it is directed toward someone in a vulnerable position, I always think that anyone who allows themselves to be so abusive in public is likely even worse is in the privacy of their own homes.

You are allowed to vent about your grandmother when she's not present. If you are calling someone "stupid" and "idiot" in their presence, it's called verbal abuse, whether it's a friend, a sibling, a child or and elder.

The difference is, when it's a child or an elder, it's reportable, because they are vulnerable populations.

I take it that you have been contacted by APS.

When they come to the house to interview you and grandma, separately, I assume that you will be contrite and not make excuses for your behavior.

I assume that grandma will say that she's not being verbally abused by you.

APS will then close the case and you will have learned a valuable lesson about not letting your emotions rule your behavior. It's a life lesson, and one well learned at 18.

Dear Naenae,

I know you only said those words due to stress and frustration. One incident of blurting out the wrong words won't get you into trouble for elder abuse. I know you love your grandmother and it was not intentional. Please apologize to your grandmother and do not let this stop you for continuing to see her and help her. We all do things we regret. We learn, we say sorry and we move on.

I would not want to know what would happen to me if all my thoughts were blurted out loud. There probably isn't a place for people like me, lol.

Has anything come of the remarks made about what you said in public to your grandmother?

You were very rude. One can understand why. It's not okay, but it's not going to be put right either by being blown out of proportion. Apologise to your grandmother and let that be the end of it. And leave more time for car journeys - as people get older, everything just does take longer and that's just how it is. I sympathise with your stress.

You won't be thrown in jail. If it was your appt how would they know your grand mom's name to report?
Yep we all say stupid stuff at times - nobody's perfect. Chalk it up to a learning experience.
But that doesn't make it right to call your grandmother "stupid", whether in public or not.
Lesson learned. Don't worry. You love your grandmother and will probably not react that way again.
Good luck in your senior year!

Of course you will not be thrown in jail for this, it will not affect your college application either. Do not worry. I know we all get frustrated, stressed out, and often say things we do not mean, however keep in mind older people tend to be more fragile. Everything is going to be OK, and maybe next time you can just count up to ten or something ; )

Who told you that you were reported for elderly abuse? Has APS contacted you and launched a formal investigation, or was this just a comment from someone at the doctor's office?
Even if an investigation is started I'm certain it will never go beyond the initial stages (unless there is more you are not telling us), I think most of us on this site could be locked away if they were throwing people in jail for a few nasty comments!

Thank you. Do you think I will be thrown in jail for this? I love my grandmother very much but I'm scared. I'm starting my senior year in two days and I'm terrified that I will get thrown in jail or be rejected from a college over being stressed and saying something stupid.

I am so sorry, I assumed it was her apt. as you said she was able to do all her own things and such. And it never occurred to me you would take her to YOUR apt.. I thought it was her apt you had to get her to! Next time leave her home so you are not so stressed, And good luck

Pamzimmrrt so they are required to report of anything negative was said to an elderly person ever? It was my appointment. I feel like I don't even want to return to her house next week if I can not even disagree with her, and accidentally say things out of stress without being accused of abuse.

You don't have to be a caregiver to be accused of abuse. I understand you were very stressed.. but calling her an idiot and stupid really does not look good to the professionals at the Dr office, and they are required to report this sort of thing. The Dr office had no idea your brother died... they just saw your treatment of GM. Perhaps someone else could drive her next time?