Has anyone been accused by sibling of using parent's money for yourself?

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He was proved wrong, but... I am 3rd of 3 sons. I started in home caring for my parents 10/2010, Mom's mind was very alert, it was her poor little body that finally broke down 02/2014. Dad has had dementia prior to me moving in. Mom called me for help as I lived 45 mins. away. I had been doing all finances, bills, bank, etc. Mom was an ex bank officer and everything was good. April this year, 2016, more than 2 years from Mom's passing. #2 wanted past bills and bank statements. Need to say this, I used their credit card for my personal purchases and would deposit whatever it was and sometimes even put extra in if needed, ALL Documented. #3 is executer and guardian while I'm caregiver and we get along great. Well #2 called for a meeting and accused me of actually stealing $ from Dad. He had a lot of proof, but left out deposits and added different household purchases to make it look bad. My brother, his wife and I proved him wrong. #3 took over the finances for me, which helps, but now #3 wants me to show purchases for home to him to show #2. To me this very tedious. Again, I am the in home caregiver of my 96 year old father w/ dementia. Somehow, I feel #3 has taken accountability/ responsibility to far and wants me to deposit $200. a month to help Dad out while they help $0.00. I'm the 24/7 caregiver and do not take a penny and he wants me to pay to live here while I am caregiver. Makes no sense. I will not quit taking care of our Dad, that I will not happen. He loves his backyard, the sky and glider while he sips his 'Merlot' wine. I do not want to be paid for taking care of my Dad, period, but it makes no sense for me to pay when other in home caregivers get paid $, not pay $ to be caregiver. Oh, I get a whopping $904. monthly from Social Security and am 63 years old. I had to vent, not trying to cry on your shoulders, but I am hurt and confused.

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Mom went to visit my sister half-way across the country and got sick while there. I am on Disability and pay rent to mom and rent checks then went to sis while I stayed in the house and took care of it, after being in the hospital myself. Sis accused me of having mom paying for my living. No idea where my rent checks (which were sent directly to her) went to and never received any accounting. Mom does remember sis and hubby joined a gym and got all new gym wear. Would guess much was on my dime.

Mom came home and I am primary care-giver, etc. except for a couple part-time aides to help mom shower, etc. in the morning.

I buy groc, clean, cook, drive, etc. and have very little time of my own, Sis made a big deal coming up for mom's birthday in 2015. I had not seen her in 10 years and her visit made me realize why I almost do not care. She and hubby stayed at a hotel and I had to make sure mom and house were ready for sis and hubby to pick up mom (and me) to go out to dinner (did not really care to go). She did not go out with them for anything other than dinner the whole time here. Maybe just sour grapes, but my money is not growing in the bank and their visit was fun while I worked behind the scenes again on my dime. Not much I can do and know mom has very little of inheritance other than her house - not worth too much these days.

If mom had to go to assisted living, no idea where the $ would come from. I don't want any back pay, just sis to realize the cost mentally and money wise I put into this. It is just not that easy to flash out a credit card to take care of things.
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So basically your brothers think you should pay your father $200 per month rent? For the privilege of living in his home as his 24/7 caregiver.

Yup, have to go with Rocknrobin on this one. Let them see if they can get 24/7 care for an elderly gentleman with Alzheimers Disease for -$200 per month.
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The sibs that do the least (or nothing at all) are always the ones with too many opinions. I don't believe the should get a vote
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I like your math Rocknrobin. Lets say Tex's sibs want to play hardball and insist that he doesn't put in 24 hours a day, even a 60 hour work week should net at least $1200. And they think he should be paying rent???
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Let's do a little math. Let's be general and generous and say in home care is $20. per hour. Times 24 hours is $480.per day. Times 31 days is $14,880..... so your brother by rights should pay you the above. Show him this information. Tell him to feel free to hire someone to take care of dad and then you will pay $200 per month to live there.
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Ube, you should and need to be paid for the caring you provide. Or figure out something else. I left my home state had been there 61 years. Very difficult. Want to go back but need to find work first.
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gladimhere, No, I'm not, $904 Social S. Monthly
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Ube, what will happen to you if dad has to be moved to a facility? Are you well enough financially set if something happened to him? That is part of caring for yourself.
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Glad youve gotten your own credit card.

Do your siblings have sny vlue what assisted living/ nursing homes cost? If you are caregiving your dad snd that is preserving his monetart resources, you should not be paying to stay there. Unless you are bring paid to do the work you are doing.
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I have gotten my on credit card and I don't want to be paid. I just don't feel I should pay anything. This is hard work taking care of Dad.
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