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My 78 year old grandmother is not physically abusive but she has a “type A” personality. She would come over to my house (she lives next door) and scream at me telling me to get up from bed. She would also scream at me that I am a bad mother to my toddler and that she will call CPS so that my son will be taken away from me and will go to an orphanage. She also constantly asks me if I am taking my anxiety medications and threatens that if I am not she will make sure I will be locked up in a psychiatric ward for the rest of my life. She says all these things as well as screaming at me that my kid NEEDS A NEW DIAPER because once or twice she came over and he took his own diaper off. My son is potty training and does not always require a diaper he is learning to use the toilet. You get the point, she is extremely verbally abusive and threatens me more than several times a week for a half hour or more at a time.


I don’t let her in the house my husband let’s her in.


Well today was my last straw. I asked her politely to leave MANY times, but today I called the cops on her. The cops told me they would try to talk to her and tell her to not go to my house anymore. After they talk to me and her they tell me the only way to get her to leave me and my family alone is to get a restraining order. Or just not let her in the house.


I will also add this to my story, my grandfather I am estranged from also currently lives with her. I am estranged from him because he broke my wrist when I was 20 years old. He broke my wrist because “I was laughing too loudly at a YouTube video.” I quit university because I was angry and using a pen or computer was painful. My grandma and mom told me to shut the f up about the whole broken wrist and not press charges.


My family is obviously full of narcissist abusers.


Supposedly my grandparents are moving two hours away to their vacation home next year.


What I am really asking for here is just some advice. And also I need to get this off my chest. Thank you any constructive advice is appreciated.

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Unless you really want to stay there and can find a way to lock her out and live with the consequences while you bide your time in hopes she does move my recommendation would be to move yourself. Pack up your husband and children and get out of there, next door to this grandma is too close!
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Reply to Lymie61
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Your grandma is meddling. Your grandpa is abusive. Your mom enabled them instead of taking up for you. Your husband should ignore grandma or take up for you. Change the locks and let her knock until her knuckles are bleeding. She will get sick of it and give up. If not call the cops on her again. You have been through enough. Vent anytime. Don’t cave in. She could have a lovely relationship with you and be grateful that her granddaughter and great grandson live next door. Instead she chooses to be a nusience. Good riddance if she and grandpa leaves!
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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If you don’t want to change the locks then get a sliding bolt
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Reply to PandabearAUS
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Don't bet on it that Mom wouldn't give her Mom the key. Change the locks. If Mom doesn't need a key, then no need to tell her. When you move, then give her the new keys. Save the old locks in case Mom wants them back on when you Move out.

Sorry, your husband need to get some backbone. My husband woukd have never let anyone talk to me that way. You are paying rent, your home. You should not have to "owe" anyone anything. Hell of a way to live ur life. How do you get along with your Dad. Is it possible to live near him? I would move as far away as you can. Mom seems to be no help.
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Kelsey89 Apr 2, 2019
JoAnn thank you for the response. My dad lives 350 miles away and lives in a one bedroom apartment with 3 step kids and my half brother. There’s no room for me over there really. My dad is nice but calling him on the phone and occasionally visiting him is as far as much help I’ll get. He offered to let me stay on his couch but there’s like literally no air in that tiny cramped apartment and they live like right in the middle of LA so it’s like concrete buildings no yard. I’m sort of just enduring my current situation because I have a nice yard nice 2 bedroom etc.

I will most likely change the locks thank you.
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Change the locks.
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Kelsey89 Apr 2, 2019
Yea good idea thank you BarbBrooklyn. My mom is my landlord but doesn’t live nearby. so if she ever finds out I changed the locks I can just make my mom a copy and my grandma won’t have a key that works anymore. And what is my mom going to do give my grandma a key? Unlikely because my grandma doesn’t own the house anymore. I don’t know if renters can legally change the locks though.....
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I get it. They need to pay. Is your husband totally in the know
if you don’t already have one, put a security screen door, front and back
also, where are your parents in this?
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Kelsey89 Apr 2, 2019
Thank you for the response Pandabear. My husband just is scared my grandmother will try to talk sh1t about me to my mom and get us kicked out and we will have to live in a trailer again. My real dad lives 350 miles away. He left my mom when I was a baby because my mom and her family verbally degraded him, & psychologically abusive...My mom just thinks my grandma is being “concerned” for me and my family. Which my grandma is probably “concerned” but that’s no excuse for her to psychologically degrade and abuse me. I have a screen door on my front door but my grandma used to own the house(my mom owns now and I rent from my mom) and still has a key. So she lets her self in illegally or my husband is scared and let’s her in so she can scream at me my husband and child. Also there is no way they are going to “pay” I just want them out of my life because I was physically abused on and off from 7-15 years old by my stepdads..... and I have no patience in me left to take bullshit....
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My mom bought the house I live in and I pay her 900$ a month for rent and utilities which is very cheap for California.The house was my great grandmothers cottage and it is on the lot next to my grandparents.

I usually try my best to not interact with my grandparents. They feel guilty about my grandfather breaking my wrist 9 years ago. They bought me a Honda Fit and after that my grandmother made it seem like I had to kiss her ass because they helped me get a car.

At at the moment I am just surviving and saving up my money so my husband child and I can move out to a neighborhood we deem safe. We lived in very ghetto areas before and I am milking this situation till I can afford a small house of my own.

Worst comes to to worst I will find a trailer and go back to living in trailer parks with my family. I am angry about the past and present abuse but I know how to survive.

I greatly appreciate you mentioning your concern for my sons safety. I have so far made sure they have not “groomed” my toddler to hate me. If anything he dislikes them because they have no patience with my son and I am a good mother so my son has no reason to choose them over me. I see the way they creepily interact with my son and I have definitely sensed danger in the way lose their tempers with my son. I am going to be a better mother and make sure their manipulative, abusive behavior never affects my son. I’m not ever going to answer the door if my grandmother comes to the door. Nor will I ever spend time with them. If she continues to come to my house and verbally threaten me I will call the cops again. If she won’t stop threatening and harassing my family I will just have to move. I am planning on moving in two years and my grandmother supposedly is moving to her vacation home in a year so I just need to avoid them. Or move completely if the situation continues to be bad.
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Ahmijoy Apr 2, 2019
Kelsey, you say you are very protective of your son, bjt also add that you have watched them “creepily interact” with him. Not a good situation. You can’t helicopter over him 24/7. It’s an awful situation and I would absolutely live in a trailer far, far away from it.
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Is there anything keeping you where you live now? If you own, sell. If you rent, wait until your lease is up and then get the heck out. This is not a healthy environment for your child. He is living with mentally unstable people and one who is a physical abuser. What would stop grandfather from breaking a bone of his?? Some how, some way, you need to leave ASAP. And, your husband needs to be told in no uncertain terms that he is never, no way, no how,to EVER let them in your house again. Change the locks if you have to. There is nothing on this earth that would make me stay in a situation like this, especially if I had a young child.
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