My Father is very emotionally abusive and hurtful. He calls us scum and brings up anything he can think of to inflict emotional pain. He's even tried to strike me with his cane and made threats to find a gun and do worse. He is 92 and blessed with little health issues at his age. He does have diabetes controlled by 1 pill daily. He takes 1 thyroid pill, 1 aspirin and 1/2 a cholesterol pill twice daily. He has been living with us for about 2 years and wants to move home. Unfortunately has mind isn't as sharp as it used to be. He doesn't know what the date is or day or year. He gets confused when we go to the store when checking out and trying to use his credit card. He wants to drive but has problems even with the carts in Walmart, running into things. He took out the honey bun display on our last trip. When we picked him up to bring him here after his cataract surgery he couldn't see and was happy for the assistance. He has lost vision in one eye due to glaucoma. Since that time he has been getting more and more homesick. He remembers things as they were 15 -20 years ago. His car is beat up from running into things and I'm terrified he will hurt himself as well as someone else if he is allowed to continue driving. He has not driven since he has been with us. Also his home is located about 500 miles from us and there is no other family nearby to call on or assist. I'm the last living relative. Before we brought him to live with us he wasn't taking his meds properly and was even confusing his dogs thyroid pills with his own. He has been on a terror for the past week, cussing everyone out, removing us from his will (which I don't care one way or another), calling people he knows telling them we are holding him hostage, saying we have never did anything for him, threatening to call the police that we are holding him hostage and the list goes on. He has no one to take care of him if he goes home and no way to get to the doctors or to get food. He also doesn't have the money to hire assistance and even if he did with his attitude they probably wouldn't stay. His being here has affected my job and I haven't been able to work as I normally would as I can't leave my home unless my husband or daughter are here as he cant be left alone which has put us in a financial hardship. Truthfully at this point I'm ready to throw in the towel and just give up, but that's not an option either. He has always been verbally abusive toward me ever since I was a child and even now it hadn't stopped. I had really hoped that at this time in our lives that we could move forward and get to know each other and spend some quality time together but he isn't going allow that to happen. Instead he is continually hurtful even to the point of bringing up insults from my deceased Mother and Brother that I know are not true. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I need to do? Any help is much appreciated.
Sorry to say, but your Dad has MAJOR health issues. Get him to a geriatric physician and show the doctor what you had written here.
If you find my post offputting and callous, good. If you cannot step up to manage dad, he needs to be in a facility for not only HIS own good, but yours. He's got you buffaloed.
You're in financial hardship...in more than a little distress due to his abuse...and, frankly, may be in some danger. Caring for dad is.a wonderful ambition. Sacrificing your own family to do so is beyond the pale. Contact your local Council on Aging, give them an idea o what's going on, and see what they recommend. There's not one story they haven't heard.
Be strong.
[wish we could edit our postings]
If he doesn't have money, either take him back home and let the local Area Agency on Aging know he's alone and needs help or get him into a facility near you. Call his bluff. If he wants to go home, take him home. Then call the state and let them take over his care. Wash your hands of him. Or place him in a facility near you if he'd consent to that. Go back to being a daughter and not his slave/caregiver.
He doesn't have a right to screw up your family with his ungrateful, hateful behavior. If it was new behavior, I'd have more sympathy, because it definitely sounds like he has some level of dementia. But since he's always been like this, he's lost that compassion from me. So get him out of your house and away from your care and take your life back. And get some counseling if you need it to grieve the love you didn't get from him. Hugs to you...