Hi. My first time posting here and looking for some advice. I am an only child (aged 39). I’m married with 3 kids. My mum had 4 sisters, the youngest of them is my Godmother. She was a huge part of my life, spent loads of time with me and a huge amount of money. She was always very affectionate towards me and I loved her. However, there is a darker side. When I was a toddler and child, whenever I was with her, she would hold me down, put her hands or some object over my mouth and suffocate me until I was screaming and panicking. Sometimes she did this when people were there, making out it was a game. No one ever challenged her. It is strange to say that I still loved her and wanted to see her - I was confused as she was also very nice to me. As a teenager I developed a phobia of being touched on the face and severe claustrophobia which has impacted my whole life. I raised the issue with her and she laughed and said she couldn’t imagine why she would do that to me as it’s not right. When she lost her temper with me she could berate me for hours. I used to stay with her on Friday nights as a child, but after one particularly nasty incident I told my mum I wouldn’t go again. She was also a terrible bully to others. She lived with her sister who she terrorised and verbally and physically abused. Again, this went unchallenged as everyone said how kind and generous she was and never thought of herself. All her sisters were afraid of her as she was very emotionally controlling, sulking, nasty, threatening, all while playing the ‘poor me’ card. No one ever wants to upset her or call her on her behaviour. She also does not talk to any of her neighbours (pretty much the full street) as she thinks they are all persecuting her. My mother died of cancer this year and I had a horrendous time with my aunt, shaming me for contemplating admitting my mother to a hospice but refusing to help with practical care, crying and complaining about how hard it all is for her and making the most shocking and inappropriate comments. The other day, I finally snapped. I politely refused to do something that she wanted me to do, a very trivial matter, but advised her I would do it at another time. She flew into a rage, verbally abused me and eventually hit me with a door on the face and slapped my arm. I answered her back and told her to stop hitting and not to be so childish. I left the house but called her when I got home to apologise for my part in the argument. I asked her if she had anything to say to me but she did not take the opportunity to apologise. I don’t think she can see any fault with herself. I have not spoken to her since. She is supposed to be coming to my house for Christmas but to be honest I don’t want her to. I promised my mum I would look after her, but I feel dreadful in her company - she is so nasty! I need some advice on what to do about this relationship and the next steps to take. I would like to keep her in my life but things will have to change. I have not spoken to her since this happened (3 days ago). This is causing me great upset as I feel it is my fault even though logically I know it’s not. Please help!