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Hello, I am grateful for this website. I read things today that were so helpful. I can say that the education I have learned from others, well, I guess we all can say, is invaluable. I also have an education as a single mom , too, that I bet many single moms can relate to, at age 65, as well.


I was diagnosed at 60, with ADHD, and when I was in school, I just knew I didn't learn things as well, if I was anxious, or not interested in them. We didn't know what it was back then. I drew little people for story problems, and got the right answers, algebra, I could study for hours, and get it, then see it on a paper, and it was gone, for good.


OK, I am an only child. My parents are both gone, and my house was given to me, and is in my name, sine 1994. I got a will, and I am not smart about legalities, and do not want to go into the OCD phase of ADHD, if I can help it. In the last 25 years, I have taken so much time over thinking things, and am working on not getting old, and being simpler with details, if possible.


When my dad passed, he had a will, and I didn't have to go through probate. It was automatically my home, I did get a will, and had a migraine wanting to understand it, and didn't. I made my oldest , the exuctrix, and I got a deed which I didn't pick up. The will , I can't tell you now, if I divided it evenly with three kids, or gave my oldest daughter the task of dividing. Young people, at least my three, are not as detail oriented as I am, and I also overthink for all of us, so please tell me, how to have peace about all of this. I own my home, yes, haven't worked for twenty years because of autoimmune anemia, and chemical poisoning from hair chemicals, do have some social security from when I did work, but still get a bit of SSI. I have had food stamps and medical as a single mom for a long time, well, when kids grew up, my case worker said I couldn't pay someone, and work, and even break even, and she would do what I did. Then I went to hair school, and had to stop from near death chemical poisoning. I would, and am looking to go back to work, now, at 65. I also had a marriage which turned into a parental alienation, that my ex's family took my youngest, and acted like they owned her for a long time. It took me 25 years with a counselor, and recently with a great mentor, to be free of it, and not take it personally, and be sad.


Anyway, what do I do, and when to make it so my kids, or one of them can have this home, like I got it, without probate? and is there a legal way, that they don't have to pay back my money for food stamps, and Medicaid, medical, and pip on utilities. I don't know a thing about it, and I get brain freeze, or anxiety, and headache and talk nonstop at the attorneys. If I have a plan, and follow it, it will help so much. Can I do it myself, I don't have savings, my home is very moderate, two acres, and home is built in forties. It is still my home, and I want to have it done so I can stop thinking about it and wondering, how to do it right. Thank you, and I will pass on as much as I can if any one needs any help with becoming single, and how to go about it, to be free from stress, my marriage was one, where when my dad died, my second husbands mom wanted me to sell this home, and move with them, her husband, and my kids and her son, my husband, and I refused, then she wanted me to put my home in her sons name, and when I knew I was not to by the attornery, she took my daughter. I learned as I went, that it was a form of parental alienation, that to try and destroy the opposite parent. not so much my husband, but his mom. I have learned to now know, that it made me very strong, and there is a reason for everything. peace, and thank you. feel free to message me. blessings.

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See an elder law attorney. Is there a reason you think that you should not pay for your own care and why taxpayers should?
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Reply to gladimhere
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Assuming you are in the US, a will does not prevent probate in this situation. You will have to transfer the deed to the house to your beneficiaries names now or have a living trust created otherwise there is no legal way for your children to take ownership of the home. My MIL had a trust created and she had the deed to the house put in the name of the trust and this was done specifically to avoid probate. Good luck!
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Reply to worriedinCali
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Get some legal advice. In Australian law, you could do it by putting your house into the joint names of yourself and a child (nb not tenants in common, joint names). It automatically goes to the survivor, presumably the child. However I no idea of the implications for you in terms of stamp duty, capital gains tax and Medicaid. It could also have implications for the child in terms of assets for any benefits. Be careful!
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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