A social worker suggested our family apply for "guardian ad litem" as there are disagreements in regard to long term plans for my mother.

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A social worker suggested our family apply for "guardian ad litem" as there are disagreements in regard to long term plans for my mother.

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I was somewhat taken aback by this option. Though the POA and HCP may not be on the same page regarding future plans for my mother I would choose debating siblings over "guardian ad liten" from what I am reading about it. Our family has since hired a geriatric case manager (GCM) to do an independent assessment regarding my mother's future needs. The social worker who seemed somewhat old-school did not believe a GCM would help as the siblings would still disagree.

The POA wants the parent in a nursing home. The other three siblings including the HCP want to respect our mother's wishes as much as possible to live and pass away in her home.

I want to feel a better sense of hope than the advice the social worker gave.

Though adult siblings disagree and debate we have a history of eventually solving the problem. That is what the palliative care social worker said about us.

Care Decisions Elder Law Guardianship Relationships Siblings

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3 against One . Look Into Mediation . Your Mother can also remove this Person as POA and assign someone else . Not all Social workers are Great . I Myself would Not trust the courts or have a stranger make decisions for My Parent . I have dealt with many therapists , social workers and psychiatrists Over the years . Some I find to be quite Passive aggressive . Drop the social worker . Personally I have Not had great Luck with Courts . And I had a Horrible Guardian ad Litum who would always give the children to their Fathers . ( She was Paid off ) The Boston Lawyers would never set Foot in that Corrupt court House on Cape Cod . So dont Listen to this social worker some of them are real Idiots . I do not Like to Place My Life or choices into the hands of idiots .

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Reply to KNance72

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If you have been following this story this family has been at war pulling their mother this way and that over time. I doubt the guardian could do a whole lot worse, to tell the truth. This family is to my mind the epitome of the siblings at war screnario. It is for me a pet peeve in that the one damaged is always the elder, torn back and forth between the squabbling children, drawn into the fray on one side or the other when they are at their most weak. Again, I cannot imagine a court appointed guardian doing any worse.

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The solution is easy. The siblings that want mom to stay at home take turns providing all of the care for her. After a couple of months, they will all be burned out, and will be begging you to put her in AL. Your siblings will have learned a valuable lesson, mom gets the quality care she needs, and you will get what you wanted. It's a win-win for everybody.

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Reply to olddude

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we have 24/7 care set up in the home which takes care of a lot of things.

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A GAL would represent your mother and only your mother in this messy affair.

If the POA is the one living with mom. providing care, and is burnt out, then mom needs either placement or to hire 24/7 care at home.

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Reply to BarbBrooklyn

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we have had 24/7 care set up in the home for several months now.

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Let us know what happens and if the GCM ends up helping out.

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Reply to strugglinson

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Who is taking care of mother?

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Reply to Southernwaver

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Given that you siblings are still clearly being so disruptive of the POA and POA decisions for what is best for your Mom, it may be a good idea for the POA to apply for guardianship or conservatorship. That is what I would be doing, with the help of Social Services.

If you would fight this, then I guess you would be continuing the disruption, but do know that if you hire your own attorney and you LOSE (which is highly likely given your parent chose the POA over you all) then you would all have to be paying the court expenses. Loser pays all/winner takes all in most decisions of this type.

It's a shame what is going on in my own opinion, as this ongoing disruption by the siblings in trying to undermine the one chosen as POA is putting your weakened parent in the middle. Just my opinion.

I am uncertain why you continue to come here for these unpleasant opinions? You have an attorney. I think you should consult your own attorney and make your own decisions.

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Reply to AlvaDeer

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Hi,

Who's the primary caregiver?

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Reply to ElizabethY

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"ad litem"

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Reply to BarbBrooklyn

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Someone applies for guardianship. A GAL is appointed by a judge to interview the applicant and as an auditor to the persons finances over the past few years. The GAL is usually a lawyer and that person is paid for legal fees just like the fees from the GALs billing. The GAL submits a report to the judge for guardianship to be approved.

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Reply to MACinCT

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There is ongoing disruptions in this family about the elder's care. Quite a long history. D. is quite a regular poster here about all these problems. D. is MPOA and sibling is POA (which trumps all, usually) and there is ongoing carryings on over time here. I think/hope that the POA goes for guardianship and puts a fast stop to all the disruption. A social worker can often help the POA get almost instant temporary guardianship. That will put an end once and for all to all the sibling bickering over the parent.

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A social worker suggested our family apply for "guardian ad litem" as there are disagreements in regard to long term plans for my mother.

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