With all the difficult situations I am reading about I am so very grateful that my Mom, despite dementia and physical problems, remains kind and loving. And that my 5 siblings and I work well together and are all on the same page. I am truly amazed at how fortunate we are. Good news - we found a great assisted living place that had an opening for Mom and that Mom thinks she will like. Since developing her dementia (which came on rather suddenly) she has had to move a couple times so we kids would be able to share the care taking. She is really looking forward to getting settled in her own place. We worked with a social worker who helps find good matches for people. She was a HUGE help, and it made it so much easier for us. She was recommended by our first choice assisted living place, which wasn't going to have an opening in time. She works for a firm that does this sort of work. And is payed for by the facilities themselves, so we weren't out any money. So if you are in a similar situation to ours and are feeling overwhelmed, you might want to check out this sort of service. She is an expert in the area and was really able to give us a heads up on things to consider that we might not have thought of. The place she is going is very good at keeping people in their own apartments through most medical situations. They are also good at dealing with dementia. If Mom's dementia gets a lot worse, they do have a separate memory building on the same campus. So hopefully she will be able to stay there for the rest of her life. Mom will have a lovely 1 bedroom apartment on the 3rd floor, with a balcony overlooking the central courtyard and fountain. Two of her interests are birds and gardening, and she will be able to have potted plants and bird feeders there. Three meals a day and if she needs her hair cut/physical therapy/podiatrist, etc, it is all available right there. Housecleaning and laundry provided. There are lectures, scenic drives, art and music therapy, exercise classes, live music, and happy hours. We are hoping she gets involved with activities, as for the last year or two she has mainly been sitting and reading or watching television. They have staff whose job it is just to help people who are new get comfortable and involved. We are grateful to a good pension plan and the frugality and wise investments that allowed this to be an option for Mom. As we toured the place people seemed quite content and involved. We were early for the visit and I visited with a couple residents who said it was a fantastic place and that the food was great. The reviews online are good, and the social worker said it was excellent. So we have high hopes that it will work well for Mom. Mom herself continues to struggle with her mental and physical decline. The dementia is likely vascular in cause (vs. Alzheimers) and that lack of oxygen to the brain is also causing severe wobbliness. It makes Mom frustrated and sad at her limitations. But she is doing her best to be adaptable, and is constantly praising us kids for the help we give her. We are very fortunate!!