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With this virus my friend can't be with her mom and the nursing home is always calling her to tell her that her mom is mad or that she doesn't understand why Cass isn't there. My friend needs help but can't afford to pay ..what can she do? My friend can't work she herself needs some health care but she is doing what she can to help her mom. I think the staff needs to handle some of this because they know what to do.

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If your friend's mom is able, maybe see if they can get to her a tablet of some kind where she can do Facetime with her daughter. Or a cellphone. If she has an android, she can download Duo which works pretty much the same as Facetime. I know it won't completely alleviate the depression, but at the very least, maybe it will help with the loneliness. 🙏🏽
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You're welcome, Karen.  Saw your reply; workers calling your friend 6 times/day regarding behavior and small things is too much.  I agree with you: Workers should know how to help her mom most of the time without so much of your friend's help.  Sounds like your friend may need to speak to someone in charge there, kindly not like complaining, and ask for their advice/help ~ and whether they think her dr needs to come see her mom.  *Your friend might also take her mom a cuddly, stuffed animal (bear?) to comfort her, too.   lil
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try hospital social services? ask her insurance company.
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Tell your friend to call her local County Health Services, and ask if they have a mental health department that operates free or on a sliding scale.  She can Google 'her County free mental health help' to find that, too.  If they don't know, ask for referrals to those that do.  She should be able to get in person counseling through them.  If she has other healthcare needs she can't afford, they should be able to direct her to those on sliding scales, too.

Can her Mom take her calls?  It may help if she'd call her mom to settle her down, and that may be why the nursing home is calling to report things to enlist her help.
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KarenChes May 2020
thank you and yes she has talked to her several times and does video calls too. i think one day she told me that they had called her 6 times because they couldn't get her mom to calm down. i will tell her what you said and again thank you
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I can't believe that the NH staff has time to call your friend and tell her petty stuff. She needs to tell them since she can do nothing about it, they need to handle it. That "is" their job. Even when COVID is not into the picture, they don't need to call her. I would talk to the Director of nursing and ask that the staff only call when the State requires it, like when she falls, hurts herself some how or needs to be sent to the hospital. Tell her to tell the DON that these calls are stressing her out because there is nothing she can do.
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KarenChes May 2020
thank you so much. that is what i was telling her...she said has called the administrator multiple times and it has done no good
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Your friend needs to stop answering the phone. Tell her that the next time the facility calls, she needs to tell them point blank that THEY are the professionals and that THEY need to do the job they are being paid to do. Its their responsibility to take care of the residents and calm them when they are anxious or upset. Show her how to put her phone on do not disturb.

The staff at the facility can’t help your friend with her mental health or health care. It’s not their responsibility and they don’t have the time. Your friend should call 211 and the area on aging.
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KarenChes May 2020
thank you so much. she is afraid not to answer. Her mom did fall a few weeks ago. i didn't mean to get help for herself from them. Was looking for a way she could get help.
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