What to do with incontinent mom?
My 79 year old mother is coming to stay with us in a few weeks. My parents live several states away. Mom is incontinent and refuses to bathe. She has had a severe stroke from which she never fully recovered and she has been on the decline for several months. She’s barely eating. She wears Depends that leak constantly. My dad has been her caregiver and he’s exhausted and at his wits end. Mom is stubborn, but confined to a wheelchair. My thought is that I can just get her in the shower... she can’t fight me as she is too weak. She smells and she needs a bath. I do work full time and I have a professional career that I can’t take extended time off until summer. My husband is retired, but I don’t want to burden him with the task of bathing his MIL. In addition, I don’t want my home smelling like a urinal. My dad drinks excessively; I think as a coping mechanism to what he’s trying to deal with. I’m wondering if I should call visiting nurses and see about getting help for when she’s here or should I do it myself or should I get my daughter and daughter in law to help as both of them are licensed CNAs. I told my dad I think Mom needs to be put in an assisted living home but he said no. Any suggestions as to what I can do?